make up for the soul.

today, i had the chance to spend an afternoon with a very good friend. i have known Kat since we were little kids. She used to be neighbors with my aunt whom i used to spend the weekends with before. kat and i went to the same school… her dad and my grandfather were good friends too. we went to the same school, she was a year older than i am, but we still hung out and i guess the friendship never waned even after years of not keeping in touch. (thanks to friendster and facebook… ) Kat was an honor student. i have always admired how she kept balance in her life. and yet, she would still throw great parties, go out on weekends.. drink, party… and yet… she still kept her balance! how the hell she does that is like magic… anyway, she graduated from med school, responsibly finished her internship… talks about putting up a special out of the box clinic for kids…but just Oct. last year, she went to make up class… A MAKE UP Class where they teach you how to put on make up… and that is when i saw a side of her that i never ever knew ever existed! she was crazy about colors! she absolutely loves make up like her own heart. and how she glows when we exchanged notes on facebook when she talks about make up.

anyway… Kat is the only daughter of a really rich dad and she could just not work a day in her life and still live on what she could get. but she chose to take medicine… and have delayed her private practice to live her passion. i absolutely love her because she doesnt shy away. she is so into make up. and i know it sounds like a girl thing but i know it is more beyond that. she wants to make YOU beautiful… she wants to see the smile on the girls’ faces after she paints them. i wish my friends were more like her…or everyone else on the planet. then maybe, we would all be able to make the earth a nicer place for others…

in some way, i have always felt connected to her. i dont know why… i guess she is a part of my close soul group. [goosebumps while writing this so this must be true.] there really is more to her than just a rich man’s daughter. there something inside her that screams, SEE ME AS ME and not their daughter. [not to be disrespectful to her parents, because i admire them both too....classic couple] but the genuity in her is something that you cannot ignore.

we live in a small city… and with her outside the box, i know in my heart, there will be more to follow. for the past few weeks, i am thinking of putting up (soon — i hope) a kind of therapy/counselling facility that would help those who are once like me… the person who sort of can have anything in the world but still feel nothing. there are plenty out there, in our city where we go on day in, day out, trapped in our own self. where what others think are more important than our own happiness.. where judgement is dessert over coffee. where purses define you and work is YOU. for the past few months, i have prayed that the Lord would lead me to the right people, to the right path in order for HIM to convince me that what i have thought of would be HIS [up there] path for me. no matter how much it resonates inside, i still ask HIM to really really convince me so that i would know i too, am living up to what i truly am here for. sure, people sometimes tend to not take me seriously because i have worn my mask far too long and for me to speak of the divine truth would be crazy talk. but i dont mind at all. i continue to help friends find their inner light, their hidden gifts that would help them ease their pain and clear out issues that have piled up unresolved. the week before this, the same prayer, i met with a gay friend for a few drinks [since i hardly go out to socialize now... except only when i "jive" with others] since i have realized that i have lost all my patience when i talk about all the stuff we used to talk to… i think it is quite sad that i haven’t seen some friends for months because i feel that i do not have anything in common anymore. since, i feel that i may not learn anything from having llooooonnnngggggg lunches and dinner with them. i think its sad but when i met with a friend a few nights ago, i told her that maybe, it is time she faces old heartaches and clear it up so she can move on. i asked her to write down her heartbreak story for her to realize if she really is over it as much as she thinks she is… because i know that she really isn’t. we almost got into a heated arguement AGAIN so i decided to keep quiet. i guess it isnt time for her yet.

if only my friends would have half of the peace and feel the lightness i have ….everything would be better. but they refuse to open up their hearts to past hurts that have caused them to unsoften their hearts. or could it just be me? to love everything that life throws at me? even the not so beautiful things sometimes? i just seem to accept everything as easily now… [i cannot tolerate other things but i still embrace them]… is that crazy? but i know ….i have always known deep inside that whatever happens to us, happens for a reason. i think my God wouldn’t just do that for fun… [but he does work very mysteriously and He rocks...] i know there is a bigger plan.

oh… going back to Kat, i mentioned to her about the clinic which i think would also benefit her since her passion for make up would also be essential to the “soul” make over of my future clients… clients who are in our circle too and that they would find it easy to take the long route to self discovery… especially for those who is needing empowerment. what confirmed basically was at the very very second i was looking for an opening of what i was going to tell her when i saw her beloved ex boyfriend who they have unfinished business…. was also the very very same second she spoke of him when she saw him at a wedding. [goosebumps again] and i out of the blue mentioned after a few seconds how uncanny that just last year, i was at a jewelry store, waiting for kat and her mom to finish and i would be next… came her ex bf. looking for a wedding ring for him and his then fiance, [who is a vet, our vet & my truelove's vet too...] which is why i talked to his ex.. how uncanny is it because she saw him on two occasions, both wedding related. [oh, and the house i am living in now -which my husband and i bought- was owned by his sister too.] weird huh? talk about God’s script. just a few synchronicities.

oh, and going back to that friend i met 2 weeks ago, he happens to work in the government, and is in the social welfare department… now, all i need is one more serendipititious meeting with another person then i would know that is what I am in here for…

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