We spend our whole life searching
For our one true love
And we also have to accept our fate
That to wait forever is just never too late Continue reading
life is a paradox.
Category Archives: journey.
little voice.
I thought I had lived
I heard a silent scream inside
That I wasn’t really alive
And I might as well be dead.
Said a little voice inside my head. Continue reading
the wild child.
once there was a little girl who loves to play and laugh her heart out. she was so carefree that she didnt care whether she got dirt on her clothes or get soaked under the rain. she is just a wild child. a kind, but restless soul. she had a friend… a little boy who looks so clean with his pressed grown up shirt with collars and khaki shorts. he looks so sleek and so proper. he was amazed how free spirited the little girl was. the little girl didnt care whether she was alone or with othe friends, she just seem so happy and blissful all the time. so the little befriended her. the little girl was apalled as to how someone like him chose her to be his only friend…
they became friends and the little boy always gave the little girl candies. how thrilled was the little girl… even when she had very little candy sometimes, she still gave away some whenever she sees other little kids. the days went by and the little boy would sometimes pull her hair, or kick her playfully but still give her candies. the little girl would just dismiss it sometimes, trying to understand him that he didnt mean it, or he might just be having a bad day when his mommy and daddy got angry if they saw his clothes have gotten dirty. sometimes the little boy would tell her that he is her only real friend. he promised her that he will take care of her because no other friends would befriend her because she always has dirt on her clothes. the little girl didnt believe it at first but then, he told her that he is the only one who cares enough to give him candies and lollipops that glitter. the little girl couldnt understand herself anymore. when she would call her other playmates, the little boy wouldnt talk to her anymore. so she decided to devote her time and herself to the only person who promised to take care of her.
the little girl became different. she still loves to share whatever the little boy could give her. she helps those in need in order for her to feel happy. but part of her is missing now. she seems to have lost her spirit. the little boy continues to sometimes kick her, slap her, punch her or pull her hair. the little girl thought it couldnt hurt as much as it already did…
then one day, the little boy grew tired of the little girl… he found a new playmate. and he left the little girl with nothing to fend for herself as the little boy asked someone else to tell her to move out of their big house. the little girl left.
the little girl asked help from a wise grown up on what to do. how to go about losing her only friend. she never told anyone about all the things the little boy did to her. she was too ashamed of herself, of her choices but most of all, it was because she was trying to protect the cleanness of the little boy.
the wise grown up lady was fair. she told the little boy to always give the little girl candies, one big lollipo and and a gingerbread. with what candies she gets from the little boy, she began to share and help others in need. somewhere along the way, the little girl became a woman… she spent days in solitude, pondering over her life, her lost friend and her dreams. she then remembers that she has bigger dreams than just saving up candies and collecting sparkling gummy bears, and gooey strips like leather. all she had was her big lollipop and gingerbread. and it was just about enough for the little boy to keep threatening her of taking it all back again.. it was enough for him to call her a thief. even if it was given accordingly and he agreed on that arrangement.
she thoguht to herself: i dont need a big lollipop. i could sell the big lollipop and buy dozens of small ones. but i dont need dozens of lollipops.. i just need one and with whatever change i can get, i can use it to help others more and start over tobe happy again. when the little boy found out that she sold her giant lollipop, he was furious. he hit her, slammed her head against the wall, slapped her, kicked her and did other things inhumane. he didnt care if one tiny little girl saw it all. he just wanted to hurt her for selling the giant lolipop that the wise grown up told him to give her.
all this time, the little girl kept quiet. it was bad enough for. him to do those things, much less tell the world everything about it. so she just went on with her life, and never look back. but the little boy wouldnt let her be. he continues to make her life miserable. the little girl sincerly hope that his new playmate would be enough to keep him busy. to make him happy. then maybe, he’d just leave her alone and continue to meet his end of the bargain.
he wanted to bruise her so badly, break her and let her fall. but the little girl just kept on flying about, spreading cheer and trying to make the world a better place and wish eveyrone else well.
one day, somebody needed a gingerbread and the little girl offered to give her a part of her gingerbread.. this infuriated the little boy as miss goody two shoes told tales and stretched the truth. you see, the little boy will listen and believe everything he wants to.. the little boy asked the little girl to send the stranger away. but the little girl refuses because she cannot bare to think of the stranger who became close to her with out a place to sleep at nignt. the stranger reminder the little girl of herself from years before the little boy came to her life. the little boy threatened the little girl that he’ll kick her out, and not let her in. so the little girl instead help her find her way.
the little girl didnt do anything and moved on again. but the little boy wouldnt let her be… he went to the wise grown up and told her what she did. and more. the little girl just smiled and continue to wish the little boy well and happiness. she continues to pray that maybe, someday, he might learn to see the truth, accept his mistakes and be real again. she continues to pray that maybe somedsy, he will realize that even if he has gotten dirt on his clothes, or that his shoes are dirty or his hair is uncombed… or that his room is a mess, it doesnt matter at all, because deep inside, you know inside that you are kind and your heart is pure. even with all the messy clothes.
================
restless soul
all these time, I was living a superficial life
I wasn’t made to be just a trophy wife
Day in, day out… I longed to be completely whole
It just wasn’t enough for my poor restless soul.
Continue reading
i danced in the rain.
On a quiet Saturday afternoon, I watch the rain
Listening to the gushing sound in my window pane
I want to hold it dear… and embrace
And feel the raindrops falling on my face.
It isn’t always gloomy when the clouds are grey
Rain seems to always wash away
And your heart now believes
As it cleanse dirt on the leaves.
For every rain, there is something in store
Raindrops falling… same as before
Wind blowing leaves in all directions
Let it fly away… crashing in intersections.
Rain only falls …. From up above to the ground
And yet no matter how strong it may sound
Play it in your ear and listen to nature’s music for once
Stop. Think. Close your eyes, feel it and dance.
It seldom rains on a Saturday afternoon
Embrace the music and dance to the tune
There is nothing better than to feel
Raindrops on your face… so swift and still.
Never let this pass… the chance to know and feel the rain
Open your heart, your mind and for once be insane
Simple things, simple pleasures for my soul
To dance in the rain, it is never impossible to reach my goal.
Go out, and open your doors…
Rush to the road and gallop like a horse
Sway with the leaves and feel no shame
When you dance in the rain,
You won’t ever be the same.
Raindrops hang on the balcony
Like little silver balls on a Christmas Tree
One start to fall from its place
Another one is falling… they leave but replaced.
Rain is just one of life’s simple forms
To help us get pass our storms
Someday, one day soon… the world will know
How I danced in the rain… Even in pain
Only then… I start to grow.
Falling down, getting back up, red petals and thorns
Raindrops and roses… Life’s little adorns
That’s how I knew I have lived when I found joy amidst the pain
A priceless experience as my heart borns…
A soul, a life… when I danced in the rain.
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truelovejunkie ©
the wisdom of gifts.
ilearned long ago that we shouldn’t feel sad when we dont get anything on christmas day. my grandfather taught me a lot of crazy ideas that i couldnt understand in the past… he said, one christmas many years ago while he was in the hospital… that simetimes gifts come late. maybe days, weeks, months after the holiday.. but one shouldn’t feel bad about it.. because when everyone has opened and bored with their new toys… i will be the only person who will be breaming with so much happiness because i am still excited as i was just about to open my presents.
its one way of looking at it though… well… some presents are wrapped beautifully… others aren’t…. but the most beautiful gift is the one we couldn’t see at all… but can still share and feel.
happy holidays you all… sending you love and merrry merry lights across the globe.
journey back to you.
journey back to you.
Everyday, we go through life
We wear a mask and live with strife
A make believe that we are real
Down to the core, down to what we feel.
But in moments of solitude,
Even when everything is the way it should
A silent whisper speaks to us
Saying… this is not gonna last
A whisper so silent, so brief yet serene
Has caused us to feel something within
Fear, hopelessness, sadness and fright
We live in a tunnel… hoping to catch a light.
But we give in only to fear
And ignore that one little whisper so clear
We put on the mask, again and again
Only to yearn what was way back when.
We journey back in time… back to our childhood
Memories that all was just too good
And the longing creeps in, and so we think
Those days are gone in just a blink.
The mask we wear would soon unveil
The yearning that we try so hard to scale
So we live a life that is masked and a lie
We live a life… but inside we die.
It is never too late to live a life filled with joy
It takes tremendous courage to leave our ploy
But if we step up and try to be true
We journey back… you journey back..
To the real you.
exhibit.
and all these about love i wrote… is for someone else.
the sweetest guy… and the most sensitive person i have ever met. i havent shed a single tear… because he cried for me. i didnot want him to see me… because then, i know i would only end up hurting myself when i see the psin that he has in his eyes for me….
my husband left me for another girl. i didnot run after him. because i believe that there is nothing left for me to fight for…
i met my true love, almost a year after he left. he’s always been a part of me, but until the right moment is laid out for us, i intend to work on myself more than i ever could….
…..
my friends and i are currently working on my exhibit. this is the moment that i have been waiting for. the people who believed in what i can do, what i do and in who i am. it doesnt matter what road i am taking now, i know, somewhere around the corner, love is there to guide me. to shower me with the beauty known only to our hearts and not seen by others. he will remain invisible and invincible…
because love is all that we have… and all that we’d ever be.
……
i wish to ask you guys, to keep your fingers crossed that i will be successful in this road i am taking now… because i am putting my life on hold…for a bettter life that awaits us. the proceeds of my art work goes out to the abused women’s foundation in our town, where a mobile unit is to be donated so that women like me, dont have to go out and deal with embarassing moments while people stare at your bruises like you were the one who has done it…
the mobile unit is for the organization to go to your place, and make legal necessary records… like a CSI for abused women. please pray for our success. in God’s time, it will all come to perfect timing…
thank you.
Kahlil Gibran on Love
Kahlil Gibran on Love
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
photo from google.com
love story ….canvas in progress
my first personal canvas.
this is a work in progress…. (and so are we.)
DAY 1
love. the greatest driving force
In my secret haven…
I hid behind the shadows of yesterday
Myself… I have never given
The choice to let my heart lead the way. Continue reading
BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN SUCCESS
BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN SUCCESS
source: HigherAwareness
“What you believe yourself to be, you are.”
– Claude M. Bristol
Do you believe, deep down inside of you, that you can succeed in what you want to do?
Beliefs are strong, and they have the power to attract what is believed to us. If we doubt our ability to succeed, if we in fact believe we WON’T succeed, then sure enough, that’s what will happen.
What do you believe about yourself? You have the power to change your beliefs, and that will change your outcome. Set goals you believe you can accomplish. Your beliefs will shape your actions. As you achieve these goals, you’ll begin to believe you are capable of succeeding and of doing even more.
“It is better to believe than to disbelieve; in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibility.”
– Albert Einstein
“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.”
– Dr. David Schwartz
Our process is clear. First ‘know yourself’ – your personality and direction in life. Then ‘create a plan’. Next ‘heal yourself and what holds you back. Then you can expand and ‘grow yourself’. Are you ready to commit to changing your life for the better?
Creating Your Life And The New World
Creating Your Life And The New World
source: http://reallifespirituality.com/new-world/
May 28, 2009 by Akemi
“The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energy of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire.”
– Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
This is the last installment of the Creating The New World series. Ascension presents us the unprecedented opportunity for change, and we’ve been discussing how we can create the New World based on the following five energy flows:
Love
Light
Truth
Abundance
Power
The purpose of life
While each post has some suggestions to help you better align with each of the energy flow, which will improve your personal life, the scope of the series is beyond the conventional personal development. Some of you may have thought, “Well, this all sounds nice, I wish there will be a day when this New World manifests, but I’m just an ordinary person and there is nothing I can do to help this dream come true.”
I respectfully disagree. We are born with the power to create. Creation is the purpose of life: we incarnated in this physical world to have fun creating our lives, to experience our own creation and learn through the experiences, then we create even better things, so we experience the love and abundance in a tangible way. Life is about creation.
Each of us has this power to create, and together we create the world. When you bring a positive change to your life, you are changing the world. The point is to create consciously.
The process of creation
Creation starts in the invisible energy field, the spiritual world, and manifests in the physical world. And in tern, by creating in the physical world, we transcend to the spiritual world. The physical and the spiritual are not opposed to each other. They are the two sides, or levels, of the one Universe.
This is the essence of the Law of Attraction. We create as we think, feel, and believe. The Law of Attraction is there so we can learn from our own creation. (If things happen randomly, we can’t learn, right?) Whether you are aware of your creative power or not, you are creating anyway.
What I’ve strived to achieve in this series is to present the big picture of the New World, the vision of our destination of our current creative journey. I don’t know the exact each step to get to this destination — that probably depends on each of your case, and I also think someone who is more detail-oriented and technical in thinking can do a better job in determining the steps than I can. But what are we to do when we know how to walk but don’t know the direction to our destination? My job is to present this sense of direction.
It’s you, however, who creates your life, and thus contribute to the New World from your end. I hope I have inspired you to the point you embrace your creative power.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson
The New World in a nutshell
The New World is based on individuals as empowered and awakened free agent. Each of us will live as the person we truly are — in other words, we all “come out” for the authentic and unique person we are. No need to bend our truth to conform to the social norms because there will be no social norms. Our inner sense of honesty and integrity will develop to the point that social rules will be unnecessary.
The New World is filled with love. Again it’s the kind of love that celebrates the unique quality each of us present, not the love based on manipulation.
So the New World celebrates diversity. I don’t just mean the diversity of races, ethnicities, and such. I mean diversity in ways of life and ideas. For instance, all forms of love, whether it is heterosexual or homosexual, monogamy or polyamory, across the races and ethnicities . . . they are all good.
The New World is both simple and abundant. We will live simply because we know we are spiritual beings enjoying the stay in this physical world, so we don’t need to decorate ourselves excessively. It is also abundant in the same way Nature is abundant, because we fully utilize our creative power.
There will be many fundamental changes in the way we live in the New World. Breakthroughs will change the way we sustain our physical bodies, and there will be few, or no, health issues. Some (or many) of us will be living as lightbodies.
The concept of work and money will change, too. Most of us will be working for ourselves, doing what we love and are good at. Work is a way of self-expression, a way of creation. Eventually, work will be purely about self-expression, not a way to earn money, so we will just give and receive the products and services, not trading them for money. The New World will be that abundant, to the point we don’t need to keep track of numbers.
The One Energy
On the deeper level, the five energies are one. Love and Light are the same — Love is Light, and Light is Love. When Eckhart Tolle wrote in the introduction of The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
And when there is nothing but loving light, there is nothing that is not Truth. This light of love is also power, and is abundance. It’s all . . . life energy.
But then, on the practical level, it helps us to check our alignment with each energy flow of Love, Light, Truth, Abundance, and Power.
We as God the Creator
As I wrote in the part on Light, we, each one of us, are ultimately God. We have the same creative power God has.
It is only an illusion that we need to compete, control, manipulate, etc to get good things in life. When we use the energy negative like this, we create imbalance, and sooner or later, we will have to pay. Creating with love is a lot easier and fulfilling.
Thank you for reading this post and the Creating The New World series. Now it’s your turn. What do you think about my vision of the New World? Do you want to add or change something? Do you have any questions about the energy flows of Love, Light, Truth, Abundance, and Power? (Photo by carf)
“Are you just going to admire the jug
or are you actually going to drink the water?”
– Rumi
10 Things to Do Even if They Judge You
10 Things to Do Even if They Judge You
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life. So forget what they say about you. Focus on how you feel about yourself, and do what you know in your heart is right.
Here are ten things to do even if others judge you for it:
- Take care of yourself. – Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. If you don’t take good care of yourself, then you can’t take good care of others either; which is why taking care of yourself is the best selfish thing you can do. Read The Mastery of Love
.
- Do what you know is right, for YOU. – Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be. Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for you. Because when you are totally at peace within yourself, nothing can shake you.
- Follow your own unique path. – Every new day is a chance to change your life. Work on making life all that you want it to be. Work hard for what you believe, and keep your dreams big and your worries small. You never need to carry more than you can hold; just take it one day at a time. And while you’re out there making decisions instead of excuses, learning new things, and getting closer and closer to your goals, know that there are others out there, like me, who admire your efforts and are striving for greatness too.
- Lock yourself away from the world and work on your goals. – Dream big dreams, but realize that short term, realistic goals are the key to success. Success is directly connected with daily action. The way we spend our time defines who we are. Successful people keep moving, by doing small things every day that bring them a couple steps closer to their dream. They make mistakes along the way, but they don’t quit – they learn and press on. Read Getting Things Done
.
- Adjust your goals and dreams as life changes. – A great deal of pain in life comes from having a specific dream that you’ve fallen in love with, and when it doesn’t work out exactly as planned, you become angry that you now have to pursue a different path. If you want to tame your inner demons and make the most of life, you must not become rigidly attached to just one specific dream, and remain open to there being an even better, equally as happy path ahead. Life is unpredictable, but it provides plenty of opportunities to make dreams come true. Just don’t forget that sometimes taking a positive step forward requires you to slightly adjust your dreams, or plan new ones – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
- Forgive those who have wronged you. – Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong and wise. Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past. To understand the potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you. Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and moving on can never be accomplished. What happened in the past is just one chapter. Don’t close the book, just turn the page.
- Show everyone your love and kindness. – If you are reserving your love only for those who you have decided are worthy of it – all strangers excluded – it may come as a surprise to learn that this is not love at all, it is called judgment. Judgment is selective, love is all embracing. Just as the sunlight and the wind do not discriminate, true love does not make any such distinctions either. Love and kindness is a way of living. Where there is love, there is no judgment. Where there is judgment, there is no love. Read The 5 Love Languages
.
- Stand up for others, even if it’s the unpopular thing to do. – Sometimes you will say something really small and simple, but it will fit right into an empty space in someone’s heart. Dare to reach into the darkness, to pull someone else into the light. Remember, strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others too, and lend a hand when they’re able.
- Fight through your failures. – When you are feeling down or dealing with failure, don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are going through a difficult time, and you are still pushing forward. That’s something to be proud of – that you are fighting through it and slowly rising above it. Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Keep your head held high and keep on smiling. – Every day of your life is a page of your history. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. Don’t cry over the past, cry to get over the past. Don’t smile to hide the pain, smile to heal the pain. Don’t think of all the sadness in the world, think of all the beauty that still remains around you.
Related articles
- Don’t get bogged down with all the details of how it’s going to come together. Just do the dishes. And watch the momentum build. – Brian J (lifeacousticandamplified.wordpress.com)
- Six Things You Should Forgive Yourself For. (rhubblog.com)
- 10 Things to Do Even if They Judge You (marcandangel.com)
- Dreaming Big? (benlewhope.wordpress.com)
- The Forgiveness Fallacy (myraysoflight.wordpress.com)
lift.
when we love, we love without conditions.
we give whatever we can
because that’s where our light comes from.
it doesnt diminish us
even if we’ve been hurt in the past
because when we give, dont forget
there wont be any regret.
when time comes that we’ve been lifted up
be thankful for all that you got
and when someday, they realize
how much fire in your eyes
that they light up the world…
with your treasured heart of gold.
the pain, we lose
the lessons we keep…
and love again…
to be able for us to lift.
—–
when you love someone. there are no need for words.. when they left. know its not about you. its about them. there are just things that needs to be taken care of. and when they come back, and you’ve gone far…. the only way to go higher… is to help …. and lift them up…
forever.
08032012
my dearest love,
this is me and you
in timeless love and life
we laugh at the journey
that started with strife…
but when love and forever
was all we had to remember
…..
love is the only reason
why we breathe so much passion
and yet as calm as the sea
peaceful as the valley
and flowing as the river are we
when you and i are together…
our world become so much brighter…
….
this is you and i in timelessness
this is you and me….
in one of the thousand sunsets
that together we will blissfully
share in the days to come…
you and me… together
…. love has the power
for us to have this altogether
and live it forever….
you will always be my one and only love.
forever yours ,
-me
life-time.
time is too precious to spend it on meaningless moments…
life is too short to talk about other people’s lives…
use it wisely and live it to the fullest…
surely we can do better than that.
……
lighthead.
i’ve been feeling very lightheaded and intoxicated the past few days.. couple of weeks. especially after drawing and writing about it. i literally float out of my body and could fly… one person said she could feel my inner peace through my drawings… and she knows i am grounded. i told her that yes, internally, my cup is so full that it is overflowing and the only way to keep filling it up is through sharing it with others…. i am loved and i am a loving person. i am blessed with a good heart and kindness that i wish to impart with others. i may have cut ties and burned bridges the previous weeks but now i know that they were essential to my journey because they hinder me from my growth. i wish they would understand that sometimes it takes a lot to be a part of my life and if i feel being cornered and judged, i cannot allow that in my life.
other than that, i am a person. first and foremost and i am intoxicatingly enjoying every minute of my extraordinary journey of the life that i chose to live. a magical and seriously way out of this world life that i cannot put my two cents on. it simply just is ….
life is great.love is all that i could ever need and i know, He up there is doing everything He can to get me through where i needed to be, to do …
life simply is anything but ordinary. but in order to live a very extraordinary life, we have to give up alot of things that make it ordinary. give up alot of people that make life mundane. i firmly believe in my heart and soul that we were brought here for a higher cause and not just to do ordinary stuff and be secure and yet still be unhappy and discontented… and disconnected..
life rocks! big time… and it rocks even more when you have love inside your heart.
catching up.
when we were young,
all we wanted was to grow up
it was a song the heart sang
and it never stopped.
and now that we’ve grown
we live a life we’ve never known….
we meet people an lose them
others we keep, some we grow apart
but the best friends we’ll always keep
are the ones who touched us too deep..
———
playing with abundance.
the art of gratitude
brings us steadfast gifts
and life is all good
as we sail on our ships.
we learn to take the chance
and play with abundance
how precious life is
if we look with our hearts
we only have inner peace
the way its meant to be from the start.
life is all that we love
and to love would be a gift from above
little do we know
slowly, we start to grow
life’s magic lights and manifests
only our hearts can see how we are blessed
and so we smile and learn each day
we sing and we grasp on the chance
for us to grow… each step of the way
as we all learn to play…. with abundance.
daddy’s girl.
my little angel…
daddy loves you so
may you always be well
whereever you go.
i love you so much
when you came into the world
you have touched
my heart… a treasure like gold…
i will always protect you
and support whatever you do
you are free to be who you are
whether near or far…
and if one day, yourheart may break
always remember that it will make
you even a much better person
and you will be so strong
to face any strife when you start
…..always remember…
that you are always blessed…
with a good heart.
carved.
you and i… we live to be
together til eternity…
our life have mapped us
way back in the past…
and when we had it then
apart and all wasn’t even
what we yearned…
our hearts have learned.
we had so little… but now
love is everything somehow
lets go back to simpler times
when our life was like a melody
from the loving chimes
of the love that you and me
have carved in a tree…
and in our hearts.
i am.
i am loved. i have love
i have everything blessed from above
joy that i cannot hoard
so i try to spread it all over the world.
the world that i am sitting on
will live forever long after i’m gone.
this is all too real…
i laugh, i cry.. and i feel
i know love is all we could ever have
and there arent enough words…
with love…
i am sitting on top of the world.
——
our world babeee….
swing back the love.
we were the happiest when we didn’t have a care in the world all we were was love then and our hearts were filled with gold. we laugh our hearts out security and sureness we never doubt and so we … Continue reading
cutting ties, burning bridges…settling down.
sometimes it’s sad when we are forced to cut old ties. we hang on to memories, dreams and aspirations we created in the past… but as one start to journey ahead than the others, and they misunderstand new views, philosophies and beliefs, judgement arises and those people who we thought to be true start to show their true colors and voice out their thoughts on how we are supposed to live our own lives from their viewpoint. i think one basically have to respect each other. friends cross the line and when we voice out OUR own thoughts, they resent it. its a sad day when we realize that at the end of the day, we can choose who to keep in our lives and who to remove. burning bridges is but anything but an easy one to do… but maybe, those bridges haven’t stood on solid foundation for quite sometime. and as we journey to a new and better life that awaits us to be better and stronger and wiser than who we once were, we realize that the bridge has been long tattered before it got burned… maybe one day, we may need to cross that bridge, …when they are ready to cross the new bridge we have made, one that is based on truth, honesty, respect and most importantly, unconditional love… when we start over, when we try something new… it is hard for friends to understand how we have come to be… they say it is not us. it is not who we are. but as we shed more and more skin, we show them who we really are. the one who feels right for us… it is uncomfortable to them because they have always assumed that inspite of everything, we would still remain the same.
a change in our situation arises us to change too. we hit rock bottom, and when we emerge and rise above all the chaos in our lives with very little care of what people may think, in disbelief, they make assumptions on how we view the things that doesn’t meet their standards. arguments arise and when they begin to understand a little of what we are TRULY made of, they tell you….”YOU ARE NOT THIS PERSON…” but when we know who we really are, you begin to wonder… How are they supposed to know me when they know so little of themselves? We justify because we want to keep them in our lives and when we try harder… “YOU ARE WEIRD” is all that you get. isn’t it funny when you just tell them, “i know… if you don’t like me because i’m weird, you can stop being my friend… ” …we will only know how much we can love when we allow others to be weird… for all i care… i love the weirdness in everyone.
maybe for now, i think it is essential that i burn the old, worn, tattered bridge… i am building a new one. and maybe one day, when old friends have come to accept me for who i really am, free of judgement and is able to be brutally honest with me… and simply for the reason that the real me emerging from the box [or shell...] is not the same from the ones they have gotten used to… i will be at the other end.
the old me, is from my old life. the life where everything is laid out the minute i wake up and the minute i go to a sleepless night. the old life where everything is in place, on the right track [for them] ….where no worries to face and without the courage to face the hard ugly truth about the life that we chose… the old me, whom they used to have lunch with and use other people for dessert or entertainment. the old me who would snoop on other people’s lives in facebook and endlessly find something to do… to stall the facing of my own issues… (the issue of having everything but have none ….) because it is always easier to talk about other people, tell them how to run their lives than to face our own and control our own lives. {thinking….simply weird because i began to speak my own truth….because i can dismiss them when it doesn’t feel right anymore…}
people come into our lives for a reason. when it is time to part with them, just hold them close in our hearts… when we burn bridges, it doesn’t mean we can’t make a newer one.. it simply just means that we will wait for them to out grow the familiar. to be cutting ties with them…. doesn’t mean something is wrong with them… it just simply means that we only wish to be with the people who uplifts our soul, give us positive vibes, and NOT LIMIT ourselves because they refuse to EXPLORE. there is a big world out there… bigger than the places in the map… and that is our hearts…
my life may seem chaotic on the outside… but rest assured… ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. and I AM living the the magic of abundance. because I have cultivated who I AM intended to be… All needs being met. I may not have that much money to shop than what I was used to but when all I can do is wonder: HOW DID IT COME TO THE POINT WHERE I DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE DESIRE TO SHOP? I would rather sit in my favorite corner the whole day, draw and write and lay out my book. When told that all they want to do is help, i simply tell them… “i have money issues. that is all… when i had a lot, i didn’t know what to do with it, now that i have enough, i don’t know how to manage and stick to my budget… but other than that, it seems like i always have a little more than enough till the next alimony… and smile…” the only problem a person can have that is easiest to help is financial… other than financial…. it is simply called ISSUES. because it keeps coming back, and WE GOTTA FACE IT.
i cut ties, burned already a broken down bridge… and am settled down… WITH MYSELF.
=====
just musing out. after making a very irrational and illogical decisions on cleaning up my facebook. the Lord knows what I yearn. He simply delievers it so fast i can barely grasp everything that i ever thirst for in my life. HE SIMPLY ROCKS.
—-
we promised to be friends forever. i am sure about that promise. but in order for that promises to be real, we have to do this…
PS.
i just woke up from my nap and impulsively cut ties.
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discerned.
a few days ago, i was trying to figure out what to do with the gifts i am blessed with. i had a hard time figuring it out. i cannot start with the UNMASKED project because that is alread the … Continue reading
becoming the person you were meant to be : where to start by Anne Lamott
becoming the person you were meant to be : where to start by Anne Lamott
We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren’t? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?
Here’s how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake’s line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.
Oh, yeah, and whenever I could, for as long as I could, I threw away the scales and the sugar.
When I was a young writer, I was talking to an old painter one day about how he came to paint his canvases. He said that he never knew what the completed picture would look like, but he could usually see one quadrant. So he’d make a stab at capturing what he saw on the canvas of his mind, and when it turned out not to be even remotely what he’d imagined, he’d paint it over with white. And each time he figured out what the painting wasn’t, he was one step closer to finding out what it was.
You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren’t. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don’t think your way into becoming yourself.
I can’t tell you what your next action will be, but mine involved a full stop. I had to stop living unconsciously, as if I had all the time in the world. The love and good and the wild and the peace and creation that are you will reveal themselves, but it is harder when they have to catch up to you in roadrunner mode. So one day I did stop. I began consciously to break the rules I learned in childhood: I wasted more time, as a radical act. I stared off into space more, into the middle distance, like a cat. This is when I have my best ideas, my deepest insights. I wasted more paper, printing out instead of reading things on the computer screen. (Then I sent off more small checks to the Sierra Club.)
Every single day I try to figure out something I no longer agree to do. You get to change your mind—your parents may have accidentally forgotten to mention this to you. I cross onething off the list of projects I mean to get done that day. I don’t know all that many things that are positively true, but I do know two things for sure: first of all, that no woman over the age of 40 should ever help anyone move, ever again, under any circumstances. You have helped enough. You can say no. No is a complete sentence. Or you might say, “I can’t help you move because of certain promises I have made to myself, but I would be glad to bring sandwiches and soda to everyone on your crew at noon.” Obviously, it is in many people’s best interest for you not to find yourself, but it only matters that it is in yours—and your back’s—and the whole world’s, to proceed.
And, secondly, you are probably going to have to deal with whatever fugitive anger still needs to be examined—it may not look like anger; it may look like compulsive dieting or bingeing or exercising or shopping. But you must find a path and a person to help you deal with that anger. It will not be a Hallmark card. It is not the yellow brick road, with lovely trees on both sides, constant sunshine, birdsong, friends. It is going to be unbelievably hard some days—like the rawness of birth, all that blood and those fluids and shouting horrible terrible things—but then there will be that wonderful child right in the middle. And that wonderful child is you, with your exact mind and butt and thighs and goofy greatness.
Dealing with your rage and grief will give you life. That is both the good news and the bad news: The solution is at hand. Wherever the great dilemma exists is where the great growth is, too. It would be very nice for nervous types like me if things were black-and-white, and you could tell where one thing ended and the next thing began, but as Einstein taught us, everything in the future and the past is right here now. There’s always something ending and something beginning. Yet in the very center is the truth of your spiritual identity: is you. Fabulous, hilarious, darling, screwed-up you. Beloved of God and of your truest deepest self, the self that is revealed when tears wash off the makeup and grime. The self that is revealed when dealing with your anger blows through all the calcification in your soul’s pipes. The self that is reflected in the love of your very best friends’ eyes. The self that is revealed in divine feminine energy, your own, Bette Midler’s, Hillary Clinton‘s, Tina Fey‘s, Michelle Obama‘s, Mary Oliver‘s. I mean, you can see that they are divine, right? Well, you are, too. I absolutely promise. I hope you have gotten sufficiently tired of hitting the snooze button; I know that what you need or need to activate in yourself will appear; I pray that your awakening comes with ease and grace, and stamina when the going gets hard. To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to seek yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are.
;
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-To-Find-Out-Who-You-Really-Are-by-Anne-Lamott/2#ixzz21UAKVoDc
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-To-Find-Out-Who-You-Really-Are-by-Anne-Lamott#ixzz21UA4NzwB
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quenched.
i feel like i am living in a fast paced life. all the things that i should have been all throughout… i am living it now. i have a life. i am living who i am born to be. finding meaning and waiting for the GO SIGNAL from someone up there to fulfill my purpose. He sends the right people my way… People I learn from. People who shifts my soul to the right direction and finally… the person who drives my soul to go the extra mile and be who I AM.
the BAD GIRL with A GOOD heart.
sometimes, we tend to do the right thing. even if it doesnt feel right. because it diminishes our light… our life… our living to our best potential. it cuts our growth, we don’t learn to live and we cling on to our own safety. even if my life seem to be imperfectly chaotic… what is important, in my point of view is that… to quote Deepak Chopra, Dalai Lama, Buddha and the likes…. true test of inner peace when the external may seem chaotic… we remain still and accept it.
at the end of the day.. we still thirst in the midst of the PERFECT imperfect life. but that thirst is quenched if we stand tall.. in the midst of an IMPERFECT perfect life.
thank You Lord for quenching my thirst.
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i am an artist.
i used to say… i am a daughter i am a friend, i am a wife i am a sister, and a mother… i used to be that… in my old life. but when things beyond our control happen … Continue reading
doodles week 2
week 2 on doodling…. i cant get enough of this! food for the soul….
still using crayons but i sometimes mix pastels too.
goodbye, little heart
i think i am taking our pet beagle’s [heart] death more than i did my marriage and grandfather harder than i thought. and i know why. it is because i did not shower her the love that i have inside me. i lost a puppy when i was little. and i hold back when it comes to pets… i loved her and i feel so bad for her everytime she wanted to play with me and i wouldn’t give more than i ever could. because i know the dog’s life span is shorter than human beings… my daughter is taking it really well ….i asked her how she is… i asked the nanny if she knew… if i had to make up this pet farm vacation place thing… she just simply said… “i think ma, its better that she’s dead. because she doesn’t have to cry when we give her puppies away…” she’s a wise child. my son, he seems nonchalant. but i guess he’s a guy. i had other things on my mind. the rest of the days ….thoughts about heart come and go and i simply dismiss it. until i got my quiet time. and when i went home and there was no one there to greet me…
i know i’ll get over it. i mean… i should… i am thinking of getting a new puppy. and this has been in my mind for quite some time. but i did not want to get another one while heart was still around. let’s face it.. dogs are territorial. but is it right for me to get a new one? someone whom i could really learn to love like the one i had when i was little? the one i lost when i was 6 was a mongrel. who i wanted to sleep with at night but since i sleep in my grandparent’s bedroom, they wouldn’t let me. and i got news a few days later that he got “lost”.. so i searched around the compound for weeks… hoping i’d find him amongst the rig trucks or at the ice plant that was run down. until weeks turned to months, i was at least hoping i would find just a fragment of his bone… and it is all coming back now. i guess my grandpa gave him away. because he was extra nice to me that very day until the rest of his life…
if i get another pup, it would be just like a rebound pup… is it? i know it is about time that maybe… i should get one and really be who i am and not hold back. be it a rebound or not. —–
——-
my husband and i had pet issues… he used to sleep with his retriever … and when we lived together, i couldn’t take how much he loved buddy. he got him when we were together. we used to take him everywhere. i was a part of buddy but then, somehow… he just sort of taken over my place i guess. lol. after a few months of living with my husband, i moved out of the room… slept in our daughter’s room because i couldn’t take how the room looked like a shop, or the sheets were always filled with mud and dirt. anyway, i loved buddy. i played with him when my husband wasn’t around. i just didn’t want him to know that so he wouldn’t let me manage him. i always knew buddy was my rival… with all the undivided attention. but it was fine. the set up suited me. i thought it suited him too. but… i was just hungry for my privacy i guess. he just assumed that i hated buddy. i just didn’t want to get close to any pet for that matter. it sucks when they’re gone so soon.
then, i am back with my former ex, current present love… (lol) who has at least 10 dogs. but well… it is an issue with me. but thankfully, he isn’t as attached as my husband was… we’ll see about it. i still have enough time to learn to open my big heart before the big thing comes… i guess this really isn’t a rebound puppy. i am just working out on my issues since i have to conquer it, i might as well try to work on it.
i love. not just people. not just him… it might as well go with pets. after all… that puppy i lost when i was a child was the only heartbreak i had. it was / it is the only painful memory i could ever remember of my deliriously happy childhood. —and adulthood. i have worked out on other issues… this i have yet to conquer.
good luck to me. i hope i find the right puppy. or better yet.. i have to be the right master.
any thoughts?
discernment.
i am currently loving all the unexpected gifts i am blessed with. i know this has got to take me somewhere — big. but… lately, i keep discovering all these wonders inside that lay dormant for years and i feel like there is still so much in store for me. i also feel that the realisation of my dreams is really near. how to go about it, i don’t know… i just ride with the tide, i don’t drive. sometimes, it can be frustrating but nevertheless, surprisingly calm. even if the external aspect of my life isn’t as peaceful as it should be… [ i could totally say --- true test of peace...]
i am a multitasker. and if there is one thing i like… it is mixing and fixing everything altogether in one. so… i made a list of my “gifts” and the not so wanted character. i like the production part better… it is actually the managing slash routine that is dreadful to me.
for the book – i know that is where i am heading… only i am still not getting the right signal for that. in my heart, that is where i am truly headed. for my ego, i wish to make a big bang explosion when i am launching it… that is my soul. and that is me NAKED in front of everyone. until such time. the timing isn’t ripe yet. it is meant to help others with self improvement, empowerment,….. too much info. :–)
for the dried flowers: i have learned patience, — and the theme of my life: finding beauty in all that is not. so that is also part of me. i like the “vintage-y” feel around. i like all things classic, romantic, ….makes me remember all that i wish to be in..
posters: that is left brain and right brain with my self improvement student and frustrating friend i wish to rise above all the experiences she went through… which is the same as mine. but have not gotten around to it. oh but how she makes me “human” sometimes…. its just a matter of time, and we will combine our “charm” to make something really out of this world in our own little world ….
gosh sabrina— hurry up and ascend a D higher please! let’s rock their world!
printabilities: oh, my only window to creativity when i was with my husband… gift tags and calling cards.
photography: i bought a camera to source out my “window” when i was with my husband. -believe you me, i couldn’t write a decent poem until our beloved pet died. and since i didn’t know i could MAKE pictures then, i decided to take them. probably also because i would rather take pictures because i am supposed to be lighter by a 100lbs. and how i used to love my pictures taken when i was 100lbs lighter… [yeah...vanity is my favorite sin] – but to justify that - i used to love myself from OUTSIDE IN.
doodles/drawing: this is actually the best thing to ever happen to me— for now. because never in my wildest dream i could draw! i am so ecstatic. i used to visualize my book when i was little that the pictures were hand-drawn. but instead opted for photographs since its too impossible for me to have to draw it. nevertheless, wow…. it is all coming together now.
cooking: i do small orders from friends and yes, i too can cook. anything!
— except pastries…. too much rules for me. and i can’t break it. and it has to be timed at a certain degree… oh — i can’t do it. NOT YET i suppose.
——-
so basically, i need extra help in prayers for discerning what it really is. this is what is mind boggling. i know my purpose. i know the end of it all. it is just basically to be able to give hope to non believers of true love.. and each one of us… we start within ourselves. and when we have learn to love ourselves, we can sit quietly with ourselves… we love our own company…. and when we can finally sit quietly alone, then true love can peacefully be with us. [lets face it, if we can't be alone with ourselves, if we dislike our own company.... what makes us think others can too?]
it is just a matter of time. i am blessed with deep knowing and clear seeing (even if at times i challenge it, it smacks me right in front of my face… oh, that is probably why we both kept saying let us work on ourselves. ] ohhh!!! NOW…. [another aha moment!]
its a labyrinthine life i am living and i cannot wait to be in the center. with HIM and him.
—-
Prayer:
Thank You Lord for making my life worth living. For helping me find meaning and making me see our purpose very clearly. i ask You not to shield me from any chances that may make me grow and be the best i can be but to give me strength and make me UNSHAKEABLE to rock their worlds for the better….
Continue to bless my kids with such understanding of the whole situation and let them open their hearts to know YOU more too.. and give their lives meaning and purpose too.
Lead me to the right people to know that i am headed in the right direction…. and I am grateful for all the random grace that You continually make me see. LEt me ROCK this life to Your liking. coz YOU rock.
and let him lead with his heart through your wisdom. and make him FEARLESS too. and believe in himself the way he does with me and the way i do with him.
PS. i hope you don’t mind that i hardly hear mass.
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sacred.
This gallery contains 5 photos.
i just did this …. for almost 4 hours… i was feeling uneasy when i started doodling… so i just kept going.. not knowing what to make… and this is what i came up with. i believe that this is … Continue reading
