I thought I had lived
I heard a silent scream inside
That I wasn’t really alive
And I might as well be dead.
Said a little voice inside my head. Continue reading
In The Presence of Difficulty Compassion by Madisyn Taylor January 29, 2013 True compassion recognizes that all the boundaries we perceive between ourselves and others are an illusion. Compassion is the ability to see the deep connectedness between ourselves and … Continue reading
I thought I had lived
I heard a silent scream inside
That I wasn’t really alive
And I might as well be dead.
Said a little voice inside my head. Continue reading
Edited by Dorothy V., Lisa Brooks, Alan J, Harold R and 100 others
Finding the real you is an enlightening experience. You become self-sufficient and do things for yourself, for once. You are no longer needy and become utterly grateful for all the things people have done for you in the past. Finding yourself is a time of harmony because you develop the philosophy or belief system that will carry you throughout the rest of your life. How do you know you have found yourself? It is when you are able to help others find themselves. Finding yourself is not easy, but here are a few tips for how to start the process.
⚫Create your own life timeline. Write down all of your major goals in your life that you feel you want to achieve. In turn, write down the events in your life that have already happened that you believe have affected you. When life hits with problems or misfortunes it shapes our belief system and makes us think differently. When you believe in something or see beauty in something, you should do it no matter what anyone else thinks. If you have found something that is worthy of your best efforts, sacrifice, and tears, then you have found the most important pursuit of your life.
This isn’t an exercise in wallowing. It’s about clarification and identification of issues. These issues might be keeping you from reaching your present potential and letting your true sense of self blossom.
Spend a little time writing with clarity about the past in your timeline. A timeline is an incredibly objective method for marking down past occurrences in your life that you consider to be major. You can look at them as formation blocks and as changing experiences along your timeline without imbuing them with too much emotion (as would occur within a diary account). Keep it simple, real, and condensed to the major effect or lesson learned from each past incident.
When analyzing negative past experiences, look to the positive learning message in it and don’t dwell on the mistakes or the negatives. Everyone has these blips in their timeline but pretending they are either worse than they were or non-existent won’t do you any favors. Instead, recognize that if it had not been for those past experiences you would not be where or who you are today.
⚫Prepare to begin again with a clean slate. Develop your own moral conduct and practice sticking to it. Remove vice from your life; vices are any actions or habits that tie up your true self and let you escape having to think about the harder questions.
Stop smoking, over-eating, and abusive drinking. These are examples of lapses or habits that will prevent you from functioning at your peak. They also let you “off the hook” by sidestepping the analysis of why you use these crutches instead of finding better ways to brighten your life.
This step may take some major rehabilitation for some individuals but putting it into the too-hard basket won’t make it go away. Remember, you can’t drive your life forward if you are always gazing through your rear-view mirror!
⚫Let go of the need to be loved by all. Accept that some people will think poorly of you no matter what you do. It’s important to forget about what everyone else thinks because you cannot please everyone. And while you might not want to disappoint the people close to you, they should want you to be happy. As long as you continue to exist just to fulfill other people’s ideas of who you should be, you’ll never know who you really are. This thought is aptly summed up by Raymond Hull: “He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”
Realize that some people will become jealous, afraid, or overwhelmed when a person changes their usual habits and grows more mature and self-loving. It’s a threat to the relationship you’ve always had, and it forces them to take a cold, hard look at themselves, which they may not want to do. Give these people space and compassion; they may come around in time. If they don’t, leave them be. You don’t need them to be you.
⚫Learn to rely on yourself. Confidence and reliance are at the heart of finding yourself. If you don’t have a solid sense of self-worth, you’ll listen to what others have to say all the time and to be swayed by their insistence on what is wrong, right, and appropriate. Learn to believe in yourself and trust your own feelings.
If you have been victimized in the past, confront these issues. They’re not going to go away on their own. They might be coloring your approach to daily life, causing you to live up to other people’s expectations instead of your own.
Start trusting your own judgment and decision-making processes. Sure, you’re going to make mistakes from time to time, but so does everyone else. It’s through mistakes that you’ll find yourself growing, learning, and reaching into your real sense of self.
Start taking responsibility for budgeting, household matters, and planning about the future. People who lack a sense of self tend to disregard the “details” of life with a carefree attitude, believing that things will all sort themselves out. But things don’t always sort themselves out. Taking responsibility pulls you back from the precipice and lets you be self-reliant and self-determined, no longer carried along by the waves of fate.
⚫Sort out your career path. If you’re meandering all over the place looking for the right “fit,” chances are that you’re not happy inside. You could be using the job-changing as an excuse for not fully realizing your true potential. Finding yourself by really taking an interest in what you love to do. If money weren’t an issue, what would you spend your days doing? Is there any way you can monetize this activity/skill?
Spend some time free-associating. Think about what you like and don’t like; think beyond those things to other ideas that simply pop into your mind while you’re associating. Keep a record of these things. Then, come back to the career question and look at the free associations. What type of career seems to gel most with the things that excited, moved, and really energized you from the free-association exercise? As Alain de Botton says, this exercise is about looking for “beeps of joy” amid the cacophony of must-dos, shoulds, and expectations.
Bear in mind, however, that work may not be where your “calling” is. If that is the case, you’ll need to work out a work-life balance that lets you pursue your “true self” more outside of the workplace, even if this means more hours and less income. It is all possible, especially if it’s in the pursuit of finding and sustaining your true sense of self.
⚫Immerse yourself in solitude. Give yourself some time and space to get away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media, and the pressure. Take some time each day to go for a long walk and think. Plant yourself on a park bench and look. Take a long, thoughtful road trip. Whatever you do, move away from anything that distracts you from contemplating your life and where you want it to go. In solitude, you should feel independent and self-sufficient, not lonely, needy or afraid.
Every person needs time alone, whether they’re introverted or extroverted, single or in a relationship, young or old. Solitude is time for rejuvenation and self-talk, for utter peace and for realizing that purposeful “aloneness” is not a bad place to be but rather, a liberating part of your overall existence.
If you are a creative person, you may find that alone-time will help stoke your creativity. While it’s nice to collaborate with other people sometimes, it’s hard to be truly creative when you’re always surrounded by other people. Step back and tap into your creativity.
⚫Ask yourself every question in the book. Ask yourself the questions that are difficult, that dare to look at the big pictures, such as:
“If I had all the resources in the world — if I didn’t need to make money — what would I be doing with my day to day life and why?” Perhaps you’d be painting, or writing, or farming, or exploring the Amazon rain forest. Don’t hold back.
“What do I want to look back on in my life and say that I never regretted?” Would you regret never having traveled abroad? Would you regret never having asked that person out, even if it meant risking rejection? Would you regret not spending enough time with your family when you could? This question can be really difficult.
“If I had to choose three words to describe the kind of person I’d love to be, what would those words be?” Adventurous? Loving? Open? Honest? Hilarious? Optimistic? Don’t be afraid to choose words that are considered negative because that proves you’re a real person, and not a lopsided combination of parts other people want to be known for.
Sometimes the traits that you don’t like become useful in emergency situations— like being bossy. Sometimes they are valuable to the job you’re meant to perform — like being nitpicking.
If you do have a truly negative trait, acknowledging it openly can give you the motivation to work on redirecting that energy to something positive. Try channelling that bad habit and into a hobby. Don’t wash your clothes much? Try camping. Maybe you’ll like it? Even pole dancing is becoming a hobby!
“Who am I?” This question is not static. It should be one you continue to ask yourself throughout your life. A healthy person continues to reinvent themselves throughout their life. By asking this question regularly, it updates your understanding of who you are and how you change. Instead of answering who you think you ought to be, keep it focused on who you actually are, because in all likelihood that’s a very good answer, warts and all.
⚫Keep a written record of your answers to the questions in the last step. Beyond your time spent in solitude, it’s easy for these purposeful thoughts to slip to the back of your mind and be forgotten. If you have them written down, then every time you reflect, you can review your notes and take it a step further, instead of answering the same questions all over again. Keep them in a notebook that’s both easy to access and update wherever you happen to be; it will be a source of sustenance for you, by which you can continue to measure your growth through life.
⚫Act upon your newly discovered knowledge. Do the things that you want to do! Pick up those watercolors. Write a short story. Plan a trip to Mombasa. Have dinner with a family member. Start cracking jokes. Open up. Tell the truth. Whatever it is that you’ve decided you want to be or do, start being and doing it now.
You may shake your head and come up with excuses such as “no time”, “no money”, “family responsibilities”, etc. Instead of using these as excuses, start planning around the hurdles in your life. You can free up time, find money, and get a break from duties if you make time how to plan and find the courage to ask for these things;
Sometimes, the real you is too afraid to face the practicalities because it’d mean facing up to what you’ve limited yourself by. Start planning what you really want to do and investigating what needs to be done to get you to that point instead of flinging excuses at them, stopping the goals and dreams dead in their tracks.
⚫Be ready for dead ends. Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. A lot of it is trial and error. That’s the price you pay in return for the satisfaction you receive: More often than not, you hit a bump in the road, and sometimes you fall flat on your face. Be prepared to understand and accept that this is a part of the process, and commit to getting right back up and starting over.
It’s not going to be easy – it never has been for anybody – but if you learn to see that as a chance to prove how much you want to find yourself, then you’ll find fulfillment and security in your pursuit. When you are yourself, everyone will respect you more and treat you kindly. Best of all, you will always feel good about yourself and this will reflect out onto others, making them feel even more certain about your sense of self.
⚫Serve others. Mahatma Gandhi once said that “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”. All introspection and no reaching out to others can cause you to navel-gaze and shut yourself off from others. Service to other people and to the community is the ultimate way to find purpose and a sense of your place in the world.
When you get to see how hard life can be for those in greater need than you, it’s often a wake-up call that puts your own worries, concerns, and issues into perspective. It helps you to see what you do have and the opportunities you’ve been able to seize through life. That can fuel a great sense of self because suddenly everything can fall into place for you and you realize what matters most. Try it. You’ll like it.
Don’t be afraid to sleep on it. There’s no hurry in making decisions, and you’ll be more likely to make good ones if your mind is calm and rested.
Although it’s a cliche, the term Be yourself really does count when it comes to finding yourself. Make sure no one influences who you are; by all means listen to others and learn from them but let the final choices, decisions, and acceptances be your own. If you simply capitulate to what others think, it will make finding yourself even harder since people are influencing who youthink you are.
Resist the urge to feel like you’re the only one going through this. In Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison once summed this up well: All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.
Be forgiving in the hope that others may forgive you.
You’re never as bad or as good as people say.
Being yourself is the best you can be and requires many skills to be proud of
Sometimes finding yourself will take time, have some patience!
On your journey you sometimes will need to cry. It’s healthy to let it out.
Remember to breathe and move with grace, fluidity and purpose. This helps your body incorporate the changes of habits and let go of old ones.
You know you’re close when you are relaxed with or immersed in something. Sometimes there are no ah – ha! moments, just allowing a reveal based on attraction shows the journey’s map.
Don’t spread bad gossip or otherwise speak ill about other people. Knocking others down is not the path to self-knowledge. It only compromises your dignity as a human being and makes others dislike you.
Don’t over-analyze everything! Don’t think about how you should act – just be yourself and the rest will come.
all these time, I was living a superficial life
I wasn’t made to be just a trophy wife
Day in, day out… I longed to be completely whole
It just wasn’t enough for my poor restless soul.
Updated Apr 02, 2013
how to listen to the nudges of your heart
a guest post by christopher foster ofthe happy seeker
Life can be unpredictable at times (English understatement). What do we do when trouble or disaster looms suddenly?
Here’s a lesson I learned many years ago:
I was 22 or 23, burning brush on a ranch in British Columbia. I must have been daydreaming because I looked up and saw with horror that the fire I had set was getting away on me.
It was putting on speed and galloping toward the nearby forest in an ever-widening circle.
Yikes. Nothing like a fire to focus the mind.
I jumped up, grabbed my shovel, and beat desperately at the nearest flames. I continued doing this for a few moments, putting some of the flames out, or so I thought. But when I looked back, I saw that the pesky little monsters I thought I had erased were simply re-creating themselves and springing back to life.
I felt a moment of panic. But then this interesting thing happened. It was like a quiet voice inside me gave me an instruction. “Be still,” it said. “Slow down and think, or this is going to turn into a nightmare.” I listened to that little voice. So much patience it took.
I began to move slowly and methodically around the circle of flames, making very sure that each section of the fire was out before I moved on. I don’t know how long it took. But perhaps half an hour later I stood up and looked around and saw a wonderful sight. The nearby haystacks were safe. The nearby forest was safe. I had two large, cold drinks and thanked my lucky stars.
listen to our own inner wisdom
As our lives become increasingly busy and the world wobbles in alarming ways there is one thing, I have learned, upon which I can always depend. Listening to the little nudges of my own heart. I don’t catch them all but I sure do my best. Three steps that are essential in my experience are these.
three essential steps.
1. Stop. Slow down. Sometimes, faced with an emergency, we simply act spontaneously as the situation demands. But most of the time, with a difficult decision to make, or a priority to choose, we have time to be still for a moment and step back from the situation. For me, that is always the first step.
2. Listen Life is very clever. Sometimes it only needs that moment of silence for the answer to a problem to appear. Sometimes it happens when we give up. But as you make a habit of listening to that still small voice within yourself will find something quite magical happens. You realize that stillness is not empty. All the wisdom of the universe is there. We have not been forgotten.
3. Trust The last step is trust. I honestly don’t know what would have happened in my little story if I had not trusted my inner voice. In my experience there is a hand of grace upon every one of us.
It is not wisdom that comes from far away, it is our own grace and it loves us. It will never pleave us. But we have to do our bit and listen.
Christopher Foster is an author, blogger, and teacher. He writes about aging and the unconquerable spirit in us all from the perspective of a 79-year-old. For more from Christopher please visit The Happy Seeker.
How to Find Inner Peace
Are you in a very disturbed state of mind and are longing for some inner peace? Read on to know about finding inner peace.
Today the whole world is in a state of conflict and so are we. There are conflicts within us and outside us. External conflicts are a dime a dozen and of seemingly gigantic proportions. However, what’s funny is that the ones inside our heads are really the conflicts that trouble us the most. We have forever been obsessed with materialistic desires and we think (yes, we think) that fulfilling these desires is the key to true happiness. But is that really so? Sure, a new car, the latest state-of-the-art gadget, a swanky apartment, (for some, a new wife or a new husband falls into this category), will provide a feeling of happiness and content. However, this kind of ‘happiness’ is superficial and short lived. Does this happiness translate into inner peace? No, it doesn’t. Well, then how does one find inner peace? Read on to know the answer to this question.
Inner Peace – An Explanation
Before you go about finding it, you should know what exactly inner peace is. Only then will you realize that you have found it, if and when you find it. Inner peace is a state of being, a state of mind. It is when you are oblivious of everything else around you and are one with the universe. When you are at peace with yourself, nothing, and no other thing around you matters any more. It is a spiritual connection between your body, your mind, your soul and the soul of the universe. Finding inner peace is an integral part of spirituality and it plays a major role in a person’s spiritual growth. Nobody can give you inner peace, it is something that you must discover on your own.
Finding Inner Peace and Happiness
There is no formula as such. Inner peace is not something that you can get at the press of a button or in exchange for a hundred dollar bill. It is about managing your mind and your energies. Inner peace is a state where your mind is absolutely still, a state where your whole body and soul experiences a newfound freedom, a state of being bathed in a sea of positive energy, a state where you are cleansed of all traces of negativity. Achieving such a state is something that is rarer than the rarest of happenings. To understand what I’m talking about, here’s a simple exercise for you to do.
Stop all other activities that you may be doing right now. Lean back into your chair and close your eyes. Let your breathing remain normal. Listen to the sound of your breathing. As you inhale, feel the purity of oxygen entering your lungs and spreading to each and every part of your body. As you exhale, visualize all the negativities and impurities leaving your body in the form of carbon dioxide. Now slowly, start clearing your mind of all thoughts. It’s difficult and it requires a considerable amount of patience, practice and mind control. In technical terms, just format your mind and shut down your brain. Remain still and let your body go about doing its involuntary functions. Experience the sudden stillness and the silence that you hear. I bet you have never known silence to be so loud. Experience a state of oneness with the universe. Break all the mental chains that may be holding you back. Accept yourself as being someone special in the Creator’s scheme of things. The state that you now find yourself in is known as inner peace. It is known as inner peace because you are at peace with yourself.
In addition to the above exercise, keep the following things in mind. They too contribute in the pursuit of inner peace:
Be grateful. Stop cribbing about what you don’t have. Be grateful for all that you have, for all that the Almighty has blessed you with. Look around you. There are millions of people who are less fortunate than you. Gratefulness has a special connection with peace within.
Accept yourself the way you are. You are what you are, for a reason. Don’t complain. Be comfortable with yourself, your body, your mind, your soul. It will help in lessening your internal conflicts.
Meditate more frequently. Regular meditation as well as certain yoga meditation techniques help in getting control over the mind in a positive way. Connect with nature. If possible, take time out and visit a quiet place – it could be a park, a lake, a hilltop or somewhere in the countryside. Close your eyes, disconnect yourself from the world and connect with nature. It is an amazing way of discovering inner peace.
These were some things you should keep in mind if you wish to find inner peace. Once again, nobody can give it to you. It is something for you to discover and cherish.
Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/how-to-find-inner-peace.html
POST WRITTEN BY: MARC
9 Free Ways to Become Wealthy
The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money. Start building real wealth today by doing the following:
Realize that the small things are really the big things. – We are always looking for something better that we sometimes fail to realize that we already have the best we could hope for. When you get something small, you want more. When you get more, you desire even more. But when you lose everything, you realize the small things were really the big things. Read The Last Lecture.
Cherish your relationships. – Sometimes people are beautiful, not in looks, not in what they say, just in who they are and what they do. Remember, you will never fully appreciate all of the things someone does for you until you find yourself doing the same things for yourself. So be grateful for the people who make your life a little brighter. They are the charming gardeners who help your soul blossom.
Be okay with the fact that you can’t control everything. – When you’re younger, you exhaust yourself trying to take charge of everything in your life, other people, and all situations. Then one day it dawns on you that you will never gain control until you lose the need to have it – until you can simply let it be okay, to not be perfectly okay. When you’re wearing yourself ragged trying to juggle the outcome of everything happening around you, it’s time to stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that the only things you can truly control, are what choices you will make, and how much control you will give to the fear that you’re feeling.
Work through your failures. – Success is not a skill; it is a persistent attitude. The difference in winning and losing is, most often, the simple act of not quitting. Before you quit, think of the reason why you held on so long, and all the progress you have made. The reason so many people give up too early is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. Read The Success Principles.
Don’t let your fears make your decisions anymore. – Have faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right timeframe. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down a totally different path. So take chances, follow your intuition, and allow yourself more moments of awe, wonder, inspiration and grace.
Stand up for yourself. – Don’t let the people who do so little for you, control so much of your feelings and emotions. Never cry for those who don’t know the value of your tears. Stand your ground. It is better to let them walk away from you than all over you.
Make up your mind to be happy. – Nobody can take away your pain, so don’t let anyone take away your happiness. If you want to be sad, no one in the world can make you happy. But if you make up your mind to be happy, no one and nothing on earth can take that happiness from you.
Let go of resentment. – You will only begin to heal and grow when you let go of the past, forgive those who have wronged you, and learn for forgive yourself for your mistakes. So every morning as you make your bed, think positively, and smooth out the wrinkles of negativity left from yesterday’s challenges, tuck the corners of your doubts away, and fluff your belief that every day is a perfect new beginning. Read Radical Forgiveness.
Focus on the positive. – With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose. No matter how far you have traveled or how many failures you have encountered, hope and positivity can still meet you anywhere.
And I leave you with a simple question: What do you have that money can’t buy?
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26 CommentsFiled under Aspirations, Happiness, Life
POST WRITTEN BY: MARC
9 Lessons I’m Glad Life Taught Me
This afternoon my neighbor’s 16-year-old son interviewed me for a school project entitled “Lessons Life Teaches.” He came over to our condo with a white poster board that had nine words written on it. After a few miscellaneous introductory questions, he asked me to think about the words on the poster board for a few minutes and then, in the simplest way possible, explain what life had taught me about each one. Here are the nine words and what I told him:
Time passes quickly, and if you’re lucky enough, you’ll live long enough to marvel at the memories.
Picture yourself in twenty years walking past a park where you used to play with your friends when you were in kindergarten. While you’re passing by you notice that the park in now jam-packed with a new set of little faces. As you watch these kids swinging from the swing set and climbing trees together, you reminisce about simpler times and think about how these kids are going to grow up someday and do many of the same things that you’ve done. They will fall in love, and make mistakes, and fight adversities, and change their minds a dozen times about what they want to do with their lives.
But not yet, not now. At this moment swinging and climbing are sufficient feats for them. And although it would be nice if swinging and climbing were endlessly sufficient, you know they aren’t. You know life is infinitely more elaborate and beautiful – even in ways you have yet to experience – and that with each passing moment we all become a greater part of this elaborate beauty in every imaginable way. Read 1,000 Little Things.
When someone loves you, you know it. When they look your way, the world looks better. When they say your name, the world sounds better. When they kiss your skin, the world feels better. You know your soul is safe in their care.
But even more so than any physical interaction, there’s a silent connection between you that you can feel in your veins. You can sit in front of them for hours, without saying a word or moving a muscle, and yet still feel them with your heart. It’s almost like they’ve always been a part of you – like a long lost fragment of your essence has found its way home.
The single most important thing in life is what it all means to you. Life doesn’t come prepackaged with this meaning either; you create it. Doing so is rarely easy, but it’s always within your power and well worth the effort. You’ll be far happier for troubling yourself, rather than letting everyone else design your life for you.
Ultimately, the secret is to follow your intuition and make the most of the resources you have access to. Whatever comes your way, seemingly good and bad fortunes alike, you can always give these events meaning by transforming them into positive lessons and reflections, and then using them as stepping stones.
It’s impossible to know exactly how another person is feeling or what kind of emotional battles they’re fighting. Sometimes the widest smiles hide the thinnest strands of self-confidence and hope. Sometimes the ‘rich’ have everything but happiness. Realize this as you interact with others, long before you pass judgment. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.
It’s a sage fact of life, really, that every one of us encompasses a profound and unique set of secrets and mysteries that are absolutely undetectable to everyone else. Read Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
Sometimes you will have thoughts about yourself that even you can’t fully comprehend. Thoughts that aren’t true – that aren’t really how you feel – that don’t represent who you are today. But they’re running through your mind anyway and confusing your focus. Where do these thoughts come from? Perhaps they’re fragments of who you used to be or of who you thought you once were – an old ghost that still haunts your subconscious mind from time to time.
The good news is you’re not alone. If you could read the minds of other people, including those whom you love and admire, you’d overhear thoughts and nostalgic whispers that are constructive and true as well as some that are outdated and confused. The key is to realize that the latter thoughts are normal to have. We all deal with them. Maybe they’re a part of who we were. Maybe they’re part of an old mindset that we need to let go of. Regardless, they’re not part of who we ARE today – which is why we will eventually work through them, rise above them, and be perfectly OK in the long run.
Making money is pretty easy. Attaining true wealth is not. Most people have jobs and bring in an income. What’s difficult is to earn it by doing something that makes a positive difference.
Being a genuinely good person, helping others, and leaving the world better than you found it is what a truly rich life is. Its warm memories endure even when money and prominence fade, and it’s filled with the only kind of wealth you can take out of this world with you.
Knowing deep down that you counted – that someone else’s life would not have been as rich without you in it – that’s priceless. That’s something worth working for.
Lost opportunities, chances you didn’t take, feelings you can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. It’s frustrating when you realize you’ve missed a good opportunity. Although you can’t go back and change the past, there’s still something positive you can do. You can choose to learn from your mistake and transform your regret for this missed opportunity into enthusiasm and commitment for seizing the next good opportunity that comes your way.
You can decide to look ahead, acknowledging the importance of what you missed, but also realizing that it’s not the end of the world. There are many roads leading to everyplace worth going. Look at every exit from one opportunity as a possible entrance to another. You just have to keep your eyes wide open, looking forward in the direction of the next chance to get it right.
Holding a resentful grudge is like drinking toxic venom and waiting for the other person to grow ill. It’s an exercise in futility. And just as toxic venom is to the human body, so is resentment to the human spirit – even one tiny bit is bad for you.
Don’t magnify life’s difficulties by filling your mind with resentment. Instead, ease your burdens by choosing to let them go. If you feel resentful feelings starting to take hold, stop and consider the fact that there’s nothing to be gained by bringing yourself down over what has already happened.
Let today be the day you stop letting the ghosts of yesterday haunt you. Let today be the day you stop poisoning yourself with needless hatred. Forget about getting even with someone who hurt you, and instead get even with those who have helped you. Read The Soulmate Experience.
You have an immeasurable power within yourself to make positive changes in your life. When something is troubling you, don’t ignore it; make a commitment to change it. Don’t sit around in awe of how unhappy you are and at how unfairly life is treating you. Instead, be amazed at how swiftly and effectively you can do something about it. A positive reaction is yours to make.
Your past is unchangeable. The future depends on your decisions and actions in this moment. Right now you have power. When the world feels like it’s crumbling down around you, that’s a valuable signal. It’s your heart’s way of telling you to get going and make an overdue change. You have plenty of suitable choices if you’ll simply make an effort to discover them. Pick the best one, put it into action, and take control of your life.
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26 Life Lessons Learned by Age 26
What I Know at 64 that I Didn’t Know at 24
boredom leads to great ideas… i have always been hard headed. i wouldnt even want to take art lessons because i know i wouldnt be able to absorb the teachers words… (not unless he is da vinci?) … lol…. but i read tips. and i was fascinated with ipmasto and textured canvas so i read and made do what what i have.. (at 3 in the morning… and limited supplies…. hahaha…
remember the dried flowers phase? well, its been sitting around the closet ar too long with twigs and dried weeds (not the kind you smoke,. ) well… here it is.. i have finally finally been able to incorporate painting, poetry and dried flowers!!!! (i have yet to practice writing using a paintbrush…but you’ll pretty much guess the idea of a love poem on canvas…. wish me luck and keep the creative juices flowing!!!!
art rocks!!!! 🍸
i succumed to instagram craze!! new audience, reviews and viewers… lol.. for those who have. instagram… look me up.. truelovejunkie
and as the pen moved through
the whispers of my heart
the most beautiful thing we have ever made
is to make our love … a work of art.
Reading is Fundamental for Success
All The Power in the world is contained within the binder of books!
If you are looking to be the best that you can be, I don’t think that there is a better hobby for you than reading. When you talk to people today it is sad to me how little we read books that expand our horizons and push ourselves to grow and think a little bit.
I understand that there is an inordinate number of distractions out there today, all vying for our short attention spans, and books seem to be getting the short end of the stick.
I am going to champion the wonder of books and the magic they carry in their pages just waiting for you to read their words.
I was fortunate and have been semi-literate since I was four years old, reading books with my parents and by myself as often as I could. As a child I was aware of the power of words, to catapult your imagination and stimulate thoughts of places you have never been.
As I grew older the importance of reading fell behind other interests like sports, girls and money. I was subject to the same time restraints everyone else is. I forgot what power was hidden in the pages of these works of art.
Find the book that is just right to interest you.
Eventually as life has unfolded, I finally started to ask some questions that nobody could answer. How we live it and what being alive on this planet was all about? I wasn’t the first one and won’t be the last, fortunately I was able to find some great guides for this journey and they were all located in the pages and words of books.
The first really great book I read was called The Kingship of Self-Control and The Majesty of Calmness, by William George Jordan, which was written about 100 years ago, but it is a guide for your behavior that is for the most part applicable today.
Dealing with honesty, greed, calmness, how to treat others, it was a revelation and I have him to thank for my reawakening in literature. Since I read that book, I have read somewhere between 60 and 100 books on various topics, but always being drawn toward philosophy, psychology and how life works.
The Book that started my journey, it will make you want to be a better person!
The more I read and learned the more I wanted to learn. There were many things that nobody had ever told me, so not only was I entering a new world I had never visited, it was a world I didn’t even know existed.
That there are other philosophies about reality or that our minds work a certain way because of conditioning was an exciting discovery.
There isn’t any force that could stop me from learning more and reading now. That is a passion and a desire that I would hope for everyone.
One of the saddest conversations I have had recently was with a high school student who stated clearly that most of her classmates didn’t see the value in reading and in fact couldn’t remember that last time they read a book.
The reason they stated was that they didn’t see the value in it, you can just watch things or television or your computer. Which is true, but you will never have the intricate connection that absorbing words from a page into your mind will give you.
This connection is more powerful than any television show you will ever see, and is available to anyone who is literate. All you have to do, once you have the power of literacy is apply it and there you go you are off to whatever pinnacle you are reaching for.
For myself, reading helped crystallize what my dreams were, and it may help others do the same thing. Read a book that is about something you are interested in and then ask questions about the information you learn. That will inevitably lead you to another book and more knowledge and before long you will be smarter than you ever imagined possible.
Knowledge is power, and power will help you get anywhere you want to go, regardless of
I can’t think of anything better than being a Bookworm!
your economic background or your family situation, you can achieve whatever you want by applying yourself in reading. You can learn from the mistakes of others, building on their philosophies, adopting what proves right to you and discarding what doesn’t seem to fit. This is learning and seems to be a lost art in our overly mandated education system today.
So if you are wondering about anything and curious about how to be successful or how to run a business or how to climb a mountain or how to sail a boat, all that you need to know is located somewhere in a book for you to discover, read and master. All you have to know is where to look.
Read for your mind, read for your soul, and read for your success. There isn’t anything you can’t accomplish through the power of literacy.
ilearned long ago that we shouldn’t feel sad when we dont get anything on christmas day. my grandfather taught me a lot of crazy ideas that i couldnt understand in the past… he said, one christmas many years ago while he was in the hospital… that simetimes gifts come late. maybe days, weeks, months after the holiday.. but one shouldn’t feel bad about it.. because when everyone has opened and bored with their new toys… i will be the only person who will be breaming with so much happiness because i am still excited as i was just about to open my presents.
its one way of looking at it though… well… some presents are wrapped beautifully… others aren’t…. but the most beautiful gift is the one we couldn’t see at all… but can still share and feel.
happy holidays you all… sending you love and merrry merry lights across the globe.
This gallery contains 27 photos.
the year has passed by so quickly
yet it always almost seemed like yesterday
when you smiled at me
and swept me away.
i can remember every minute that we shared
when you and i finally declared
how we still feel even after all these years..
the pain… the love… its all worth the tears.
everyday, i cannot believe how blessed i am
how our love have become
time, distance is nothing between us
because our soul know our love will last.
the year we both shared together
could never measure up
the the 15 years without each other
i can feel we would have forever.
i have never felt this alive
and you have let me reach out and dive
to a love that has led me to find
myself, my soul.. and
the heart i thought that left me behind.
my dearest love,
its been a year. a year that has finally kept my heart and soul alive. its been a year and we still have each other. just you and me. in our bubble.. only this time, our bubble has allowed the real world in. real problems that we know we can rise above. i want you to know that i would always stay with you. through thick and thin…
your love has led me to push myself beyond my limits and do things i never thought i was capable of doing all my life… your love has opened my soul and reached out for the core of my being and create pictures that speak of love and poems that spell nothing but the love we have for each other and the love that we are.
my love has made you see a different side of life. that is the only thing i can offer you.. a smile inside your heart when things aren’t going our way… it is the only thing that my heart is capable of giving. it is the only thing that i know will go a long way. a smile in your heart to fulfill all your heart’s desires.
it will always be just me and you.
just us two…
(carrie & big)
….. just like you said.
rock my love, back and forth
and take me up north
take me down south
and slowly kiss my mouth.
i dream of you… and i see
vista is a reality
as we sit side by side
and open our hearts wide
you and i, our love rocks
back and forth our hearts
will jump over the hurdle
as we share a world
….a little love cradle.
often times, i am more thankful for all the wrong choices i made in the past. for all the bad decision making, for all the mistakes i made because it has led me to find myself along the way. it was a wrong choice, it was a mistake…. because it doesnt suit my own being…. it gave me enough room to correct who i really am… to be able to have inner peace and joyful heart that i have now. to be able to have a happy mind….. inspite of the sadness that once in a while creeps in to remind me that i am after all… a human being…
at the end of the day, we only thank those who are still on our side, through stormy weather and have stuck with us… GOOD OR BAD.
i am grateful for everything ….for all the little things that i am blessed with. even for the trials that come my way. for now, i am thankful…. beyond words that i have finally lived a life where financial is my only problem… it feels so great to be happy with little money…. because i could never define what i was feeling when i had it…. but still feel discontent and unhappy…. and lost…
but now.. i know i am home..
and is living life ….. and loving it.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When we don’t know who we are — or if we are afraid to be who we are — we betray ourselves. We pretend to be who we think we are. Our self image is made up of our experiences, desires and other people’s ideas and expectations of us.
Maintaining this false self is a betrayal of ourselves. In all deep spiritual journeys, there is the experience of betrayal. Betrayal always tells us to adjust our life to be more authentic. What we identify with is all important.
There are large betrayals (e.g., your partner leaving you) and small betrayals (e.g., disappointments). They are all experiences of being wounded for the purpose of breaking down the defenses of the personality. When we allow the wounding and accept the betrayals as divine gifts, we greatly benefit.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
– Dr. Seuss (via Elena)
“What you must dare is to be yourself.”
– Dag Hammarskjold
September 11, 2012
Underneath the Noise
Hearing the Whisper
by Madisyn Taylor
source: the dailyom
There is beauty and power when we listen to the whisper.
You may have noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise generally only hurts your throat and adds to the chaos. Similarly, that still, small voice within each of us does not try to compete with the mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.
It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalized from childhood or from the culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and their urgency is what catches our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.
We may find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and confidence.
the wind gets crazy
but the field remains creamy
grasses that are calm and steady
greens that give the world such beauty.
the tiny fragments fly in the air
sometimes, life couldn’t be so fair
but all remains cool and i dare
dance while the breeze touch the skin i wear.
life is a dance
and love is the romance
i should never pass up this chance
to live a life… with the one i loved once.
Kahlil Gibran on Love
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
photo from google.com
September 3, 2012
Being Your Own Voice of Reason
by Madisyn Taylor
source: the daily om
How we attach
meaning to events in our lives
has a large influence on the quality of our life.
The meaning we assign to our experiences–whether pleasant or distressing, is a very powerful factor in determining the quality of our lives. What we imagine events to mean will color the way we feel about ourselves, about the people in our lives, and about the world at large. If we want to encourage a positive outlook, well-being, and a sense of self-confidence and even trust in the universe, we can begin by assigning more peaceful, loving meanings to what we experience.
Imagine, for example, that a friend fails to show up to a lunch date. You have choices as to what you will make this experience mean for you. You could allow being “stood up” to reinforce your feelings of unworthiness, you could begin to mentally attack your friend’s character, or you could assume that something big must have happened to cause them to miss the date—then, you might open yourself up to enjoying some relaxing time alone.
If you were recently laid off and are having difficulty finding a new job, consider that you might have hidden gifts or passions that were untapped in your regular career that you are now available to explore. The universe might simply be moving you in a more fulfilling direction. If you have recently lost a loved one, gained weight, lost money, or gotten in a fight with your partner, see if you can infuse the experience with meaning that feels loving and empowering and opens a door for you to embrace life and the world a bit more.
When we begin to bring consciousness to what we are making things mean, we may be shocked at the messages we have been feeding ourselves all these years. Try taking the reigns and begin assigning a kinder meaning to the events in your life and you will likely find yourself on a much more pleasant ride.
THERE’S LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS
source: higher awareness
“Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart.”
– Myla Kabat-Zinn
“Even the most daring and accomplished people have undergone tremendous difficulty. In fact, the more successful they became, the more they attributed their success to the lessons learned during their most difficult times. Adversity is our teacher. When we view adversity as a guide towards greater inner growth, we will then learn to accept the wisdom our soul came into this life to learn.”
– Barbara Rose
“No matter what difficulty you are facing, it is coming from Divine Light to bring you to a higher place within. Write down every conceivable reason that this situation can contribute towards your growth. Write down every way this experience can possibly set the stage for serving to uplift others. When you are complete, and have come to the other side of this experience, you will then know ‘why’ it happened.”
– Barbara Rose
“The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one’s life.”
– Dalai Lama
we are all searching for the one thing we deprive ourselves of… because we are afraid of being vulnerable. of being innocent, of being a child… whose heart’s been broken for the first time..
but it was the only time when we truly felt alive. pain is never enough for me… i now know… in all my adulthood…. the greater the pain, the sweeter the joy…. and i would always give my heart another chance…
fairy tales do come true…. if we hold the pain until it embraces us and it will be a part of us …. becaue that will always be the reminder that joy is just around the corner.. and love is still alive…
we share an ice cream
and held hands.
i love how my heart scream
songs of love only my soul could understand.
i whisper from my eye
you smile with your heart
i could never deny
how love can be a work of art.
like the milk shake
i melt like a chocolate
when i am with you
everyday…. there’s always something new.
you tak me to places i’ve never been
you make me feel like a movie queen
from a movie in a silver screen
that i feel, breathe and live in.
you let me fly
high up in the sky
with just one look in the eye
in a moment of ecstacy, i could die.
and to straight to heaven
with a smile that i am wearing
as i slip into the clouds…
my heart is beting so loud
you dont know how you make me feel
i never thougt these feelings could ever be real…