Living Into Your Life Purpose
Fear of Our Purpose

We all have a creative vision and a purpose for our life lurking around in the background of our lives but our every day minds try to keep it out of our consciousness. Our purpose – in a nutshell – is to become who we are meant to become. It is this higher quality of being, this heightened attitude, or this value that we want to live into that is most often different from our family of origin and the circumstances of our upbringing.

Our purpose involves invoking some kind of positive feeling state that we want to become a permanent part of our character – that is most often opposite to how we were raised. What we truly need to heal our families is often what we most fear because we no longer fit into the ego system of winning love that we are used to.

We are all meant to bring something new to life that is a progression and an improvement on how we were raised. We are wired to fit in and we long to be who we really are. If you were to look at all of your dreams and desires, they would have a higher quality of feeling state behind them that you are not fully living into just yet. Likely you feel a conflict between who you were supposed to be – “to get along” and “not rock the boat” – with who you really are designed to be in your purpose.

Opening Up Your Feelings

The importance of finding the feeling state behind your purpose is so you can begin living into your vision everyday. Creativity, for example is one quality that I feel called to live into and so it becomes a way for me to develop my character and give to the world. Creativity helps me loosen my conditioning and my encultured views about what is right and wrong. It has helped me free up my sexuality. Creativity opens my mind to the spirit of new possibilities. Creativity helps me move more easily into “taboo” areas of my consciousness to heal and accept them. Through my creativity I have learned how to see more deeply into life, to be present, to listen within, to be more spontaneous and trusting.

Perhaps you sense your purpose is coming up in your consciousness and you are repressing it right back down again. Perhaps you think your purpose is too big or too ridiculous to follow through on. You may feel you purpose involves being new and different in your family, in your workplace, or in your culture – and you fear not fitting in. We often tell ourselves that we do not have the strengths, courage, talents or capacities to live into our purpose. Or maybe we are caught in blaming other people for how we feel and have conveniently “forgotten” our purpose nearly entirely.

Psychologist Chuck Spezzano writes about how our entire psychology actually revolves around needing to live and then obstructing our purpose. “I have found that about 85% of our problems were constructed as an obstruction to our purpose. The remaining 15% were problems that were necessary to learn lessons vital to our purpose.”

We really do have places to fill in life that are uniquely ours to occupy. This may not always involve being famous or even always making money. But our life purpose always involves giving to life and bonding and connecting with other people in some kind and helpful way. This requires that we move into the greatest strength that we can muster. It involves letting go of old hurt. You could call your life purpose your unique way of loving life and other people. Ask yourself this question, “How do I uniquely want to love give to life?” Be sure to check into where you are afraid. You might even ask, “What do I need to give to life? What am I I afraid to give to life?”

Progressing as a Whole

Having worked in a hospital setting facilitating art for the elderly and interacting with over 500 people including patients and staff, I see that we all have a part to play in the organization of whatever human system that we live and work in. And no one is inessential. Some of the best people I have met are not necessarily the people who are at the top of the organization or who are making the most money. The people who are most on purpose are the one’s who are giving to the reality of their day in an authentic, intelligent and mature way that considers the whole of the situation.

African Elder Malidoma Some puts it this way:

“Every person is sent to this outpost called earth to work on a project that is intended to keep the cosmic order healthy. Any person that fails to do what he or she must do energetically stains the cosmic order.”

When We Don’t Live Into Our Purpose We Become Depressed

Failing to keep the cosmic order healthy in our corner of the world in my sense of it, is the number one cause of depression and anxiety. We are all wired to give to life. What I have found is that we as humans tend to beat ourselves up for not living into some grand looking, far reaching, meaningful purpose that gets us noticed and approved of by others. And so we miss the small essential progressions that must be made in our character and in our practical life so that we can move forward in a daily, incremental way towards a unique contribution.

Life essentially requires that we round ourselves out in all areas and living into our purpose is the fire that burns away all of the “fat” of our psychological hurts, struggles and fears. Every characteristic that we struggle with must be transformed in order to take our larger journey towards our purpose. Each day we are being called by our life situations to grow and to round out our character. Often our life purpose asks us to change in ways that are uncomfortable. It requires that we see our part in everything that has ever happened to us and use our life experience for love and healing purposes. These required changes bring up much psychological material to be healed.

Rounding Out Our Character

We also must progress as a whole regarding the other people in our life. Not everyone can take the journey with us. Often our growth will incite disturbances and resistance in our family of origin and in our immediate family and friendship circles. This does not mean that we write off everyone in our midst, but that we will start to make choices about where we want to focus our positive energy and where it can be received.

Our purpose always involves and affects other people. We are each embedded in life situations where all of our choices have impact. This means if we are not moving forward towards our purpose we need to ask, “What do I need to give to my life situation right now? or “What is life wanting me to give, be, or do right now so that I can move forward in my growth?”

We have to be alert to how we need to change to give meaningfully to the reality of our life as it is right now. This can mean just a small step of starting to exercise so that we can feel more physical and psychological strength for the journey ahead. We all have inklings of how we need to change and grow each day. Following these small steps opens us up to more clues, more clarity, and the magic of a life on purpose. This “following our nose” is how we find our place in the fabric of life. This is how we evolve our life, our purpose, and our world. We sense into what is required of us in the present moment by one small, kind act at a time.

Taking the responsibility to grow in small and healthy ways lifts the burden of our depressions and disappointments off of our loved ones. We free those who love us by choosing to be our best selves. Each day we do what we can to positively uplift the fabric of our life. This is how we evolve as families, as work groups, and as larger and evolving systems. Perhaps the biggest mistake people make in pursuing their purpose is thinking that they can progress as an individual entity and that they step over other people in pursuit of their goals. From our ego selves we want to have a “win” right now. We can easily forget that we are a part of a larger network of connection that needs to progress along with the needs of the whole.

Living Into Purpose in Increments

I think when we are creative people we often see things years and years in advance. It is important to understand that it can take a long time to live into a big vision. I often tell people to vision big. Use your big vision to inspire your passion to grow and change in positive ways. But do not be discouraged if your purpose does not get “finished” in your lifetime. Even if we just choose to embody a quality in the world, such as love, peace appreciation or generosity, we never quite finish. We can live our lives to a point, and then we can inspire other people to carry on or contribute to our mission.

Often we need to live into larger systems and play our one part in the symphony of something much larger that is trying to come into this life. For example I may not be able to change the entire world’s view of the benefits of art and healing, but I have a part to play in my corner of the world. As the Talmud says, “You are not required to finish the work, neither are you free to desist from it.”

Life as a human being is sometimes slow moving and we most often progress by increments. It requires so much to live a full multidimensional life. Everything needs to become enriched on the road to our purpose. Everything needs to become healthier as we become healthier. For those who do not want to accompany us on our journey to truth, health, love and purpose, they have the choice to grow or fall away.

For myself, having long been a prolific creator, I have had to take many side steps to get my family life, my emotional life, and my practical home and working life in healthy and loving order, before I can take the next step towards my creative visions and purposes. Life progresses in wholes.

I have had to take the time to appreciate and celebrate my life the way it is, even though as a visionary thinker, I can see the potentials I have not yet lived into yet – sometimes painfully and acutely. I have learned how to not be so disheartened and to keep my eye on the small immediate steps that life is calling me to. Often it is just an immediate thought, feeling or action that is not in alignment with my purpose that needs to be expressed, accepted and integrated before I can move forward in a positive way.

Patience is Required for the Journey

I encourage people to have great patience. If you were to look at your life 20 years ago you may see many things that you only dreamed of are now a given, practical reality for you now. Even if your life feels drab and heavy right now it is important to see and feel a finer reality for yourself. I have found it very helpful, during dark times to just “pretend” and live as though my purposeful visions are true even as I go about my seeming mundane tasks. This “living into purpose” starts to organize itself in mysterious ways. Creation is very supportive of our creativity and will give us little encouragements affirmations that we are on the right path.

In this way we reach towards our purpose and in turn, our purpose reaches towards us. Lousia May Alcott the writer of Little Women and a “transcendentalist” (early new age spiritualist) – in the earlier part of the century wrote:

” Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. “

I used to feel discouraged by this quote when I was younger because I expected the life that I wanted would manifest instantly. And yet I was also encouraged because I sensed that I needed to have the time to evolve slowly and to make the needed changes – in my character, in my family and in my working world – to be able to live the creative vision and purpose that I have for my personal life.

Learning to Appreciate the Journey

Often we have much to sort out as we learn to live a visionary and purposeful life. I have found that it has taken years for me – to feel clear enough psychologically and emotionally – to be able to focus on my creative visions for significant amounts of my day. In the meantime, I have had to sort out layers of emotional conflicts in my family, in my love partnership, in my parenting and inside of myself. Living into what is personally meaningful – even if it has not fully shown up yet – is what being “on purpose” means.

Living into what is meaningful for you could be as simple as making an attitude change even though at the moment you are not seeing your purpose “on the outside” just yet. If your attitude is one of impatience or frustration that you are not living the life you want, perhaps you could see how it would feel to live into appreciation for what is right in front of you. Seeing the beauty right now invites inspirational clues into your everyday life. What attitude would you change today so that you can begin living into your purpose? A good question to ask yourself is to ask is, “Who would I have to be to live my vision in the world?” Then start to build your character into that quality. Change is possible.

Change Is Only Found in Taking Action

Aster Barnwell, writer and spiritual teacher describes how creating deep changes in our being begins by taking action. Action is absolutely necessary for change and it does not have to be grand and sweeping action. It can be a small daily practice of living into who we want to become with a determined attitude to shift our depressions into positive life appreciations. We can start to see even the tiniest good in each moment and watch it grow into a visionary, creative life. As Aster puts it, when we start to live into the higher aspects of our nature because they recalibrate our being – we begin to sculpt a “new me”.

“Our hormonal and nerve impulses will change to correspond to the new person we are becoming. Once we have achieved this degree of change we are able to do “good deeds” without any expectation of reward. Good deeds are now a natural and spontaneous expression of our beings as a result of our consciousness becoming established at a higher level. We can start by making small changes in our life by focusing on little things.”

In The Presence of Difficulty
Compassion
by Madisyn Taylor
January 29, 2013

True compassion recognizes that all the boundaries we perceive between ourselves and others are an illusion.

Compassion is the ability to see the deep connectedness between ourselves and others. Moreover, true compassion recognizes that all the boundaries we perceive between ourselves and others are an illusion. When we first begin to practice compassion, this very deep level of understanding may elude us, but we can have faith that if we start where we are, we will eventually feel our way toward it. We move closer to it every time we see past our own self-concern to accommodate concern for others. And, as with any skill, our compassion grows most in the presence of difficulty.

We practice small acts of compassion every day, when our loved ones are short-tempered or another driver cuts us off in traffic. We extend our forgiveness by trying to understand their point of view; we know how it is to feel stressed out or irritable. The practice of compassion becomes more difficult when we find ourselves unable to understand the actions of the person who offends us. These are the situations that ask us to look more deeply into ourselves, into parts of our psyches that we may want to deny, parts that we have repressed because society has labeled them bad or wrong. For example, acts of violence are often well beyond anything we ourselves have perpetuated, so when we are on the receiving end of such acts, we are often at a loss. This is where the real potential for growth begins, because we are called to shine a light inside ourselves and take responsibility for what we have disowned. It is at this juncture that we have the opportunity to transform from with! in.

This can seem like a very tall order, but when life presents us with circumstances that require our compassion, no matter how difficult, we can trust that we are ready. We can call upon all the light we have cultivated so far, allowing it to lead the way into the darkest parts of our own hearts, connecting us to the hearts of others in the understanding that is true compassion.

January 30, 2013
Wining Isn’t Everything
Competing with Yourself
by Madisyn Taylor

When we are satisfied with our life, we do not look for experiences of winning and losing to define our self-worth.

The urges that drive us to compete with others tend to be straightforward. Years of both evolution and societal influences have shaped us to pit ourselves against our peers. The needs and desires that inspire us to compete with ourselves, however, are entirely personal and thus far more complex. A need to outdo our earlier efforts—to confirm that we have grown as individuals—can motivate us to reach new heights of accomplishment. We are capable of using our past achievements as a foundation from which we venture confidently into the unknown. Yet if this drive to compete with our former selves is the result of low self-worth or a need to prove ourselves to others, even glowing successes can feel disheartening. Examining why we compete with ourselves enables us to positively identify those contests that will enrich our existence.

There are many reasons we strive to outdo ourselves. When we are ambitious in our quest for growth, we are driven to set and meet our own expectations. We do not look to external experiences of winning and losing to define our sense of self-worth. Rather, we are our own judges and coaches, monitoring our progress and gauging how successful we have become. Though we seek the thrill of accomplishment tirelessly, we do so out of a legitimate need to improve the world or to pave the way for those who will follow in our footsteps. Be careful, though, that your competitiveness is not the result of an unconscious need to show others that you are capable of meeting and then exceeding their standards.

Consider, too, that successful efforts that would be deemed more than good enough when evaluated from an external perspective may not satisfy our inner judge, who can drive us ruthlessly. In order to attain balance, we have to learn the art of patience even as we strive to achieve our highest vision of who we are. When we feel drained, tense, or unhappy as we pursue our goals, it may be that we are pushing ourselves for the wrong reasons. Our enthusiasm for our endeavors will return as soon as we recall that authentic evolution is a matter not of winning but of taking pride in our progress at any pace.

The word failure puts forward a very simplistic way of thinking that allows for only two possibilities: failure or success. Few things in the universe are black and white, yet much of our language reads as if they are. The word failure signifies a paradigm in which all subtlety is lost. When we regard something we have done, or ourselves, as a failure, we lose our ability to see the truth, which is no doubt considerably more complex. In addition, we hurt ourselves. All you have to do is speak or read the word failure and see how it makes you feel.

At some point, the word may not have been so loaded with the weight of negativity, and it simply referred to something that did not go according to plan. Unfortunately, in our culture it is often used very negatively, such as when a person is labeled a failure, even though it is impossible for something as vast and subtle as a human being to be reduced in such a way. It also acts as a deterrent, scaring us from taking risks for fear of failure. It has somehow come to represent the worst possible outcome. Failure is a word so burdened with fearful and unconscious energy that we can all benefit from consciously examining our use of it, because the language we use influences the way we think and feel.

Next time you feel like a failure or fear failure, know that you are under the influence of an outmoded way of perceiving the world. When the world failure comes up, it’s a call for us to apply a more enlightened consciousness to the matter at hand. When you are consciously aware of the word and its baggage you will not fall victim to its darkness. In your own use of language, you may choose to stop using the word failure altogether. This might encourage you to articulate more clearly the truth of the situation, opening your mind to subtleties and possibilities the word failure would never have allowed.
photos from www.tinybuddha.com

full bloom.

Kerouac could very well have been describing the creative personality, for research has demonstrated that highly creative individuals don’t think or act like the rest of us. They are indeed different, and in quite a few ways.

Link between Creativity and Eccentric Behavior

Do you think that most creative people are a bit “strange”? If so, you’re probably not alone, and, what’s more, you’re right. In fact, according to Shellye Carson, in an article for Scientific American (2011), “People who are highly creative often have odd thoughts and behaviors, and both creativity and eccentricity may be the result of genetic variations that increase cognitive disinhibition—the brain’s failure to filter out extraneous information.” For example, “people who score high for creative achievement in the arts are more likely to believe in telepathic communication, dreams that foretell the future, and past lives” (Carson, 2011).

Creative Individuals Think Differently

In Understanding Creativity: The Interplay of Biological, Psychological, and Social Factors (1998), John Dacey and Kathleen Lennon discuss Edward deBono’s concept of “lateral thinking” and “vertical thinking” (p. 177). As deBono maintains, according to Dacey and Lennon, there is “a distinction between vertical thinking (which means mental operations that move in a straight line back and forth between lower and higher level concepts) and lateral thinking (which means looking for alternative ways of defining and interpreting a problem)” (1998, p. 177).

As per Dacey and Lennon, deBono contrasts lateral and vertical thinking in this manner:

Vertical thinking is selective, whereas lateral thinking is generative. Vertical thinking is aimed at finding the right solution by following one path, but lateral thinking is more concerned with richness than with rightness, and is therefore more likely to generate numerous pathways of thought.
Vertical thinking is analytical, whereas lateral thinking is provocative. Lateral thinkers seek information not for its own sake but for its ability to provoke or shock them. It does not even have to be true, as long as it is effective. (Dacey & Lennon, 1998, p. 177)
While there are other dissimilarities between lateral and vertical thinking, according to deBono, space doesn’t permit discussion of them all, but suffice it to say that it isn’t surprising that research shows that most highly creative individuals tend to be lateral, not vertical, thinkers.

Creative Personalities Explore and Experiment

Dr. Willis Harman and Harold Rheingold, coauthors of Higher Creativity: Liberating the Unconscious for Breakthrough Insights (1994) maintain that one of the traits of the creative personality is the ability to toy with elements and concepts. For example, according to Harman and Rheingold, creative individuals tend to look at colors and shapes, as well as relationships, ideas, and problems, and then form hypotheses. They might ask, “What if I look at this from a different angle? What if I try this instead of doing it the way it’s always been done?” And through this process of exploration, they find novel and innovative ways to make things, accomplish tasks, solve problems, express ideas, or adapt to situations, etc.

Relatedly, Dacey and Lennon cite a study by Guilford demonstrating how of the five operations of the structure of intellect (cognition, memory, divergent and convergent thinking, and evaluation), divergent and convergent thinking are most important in relation to creativity. Why? Because when people employ divergent thinking, they are able to generate a wide variety of ideas and possible solutions, and when they employ convergent thinking, they are able to identify the ideas and solutions that are most viable out of all possible ideas and solutions (Dacey & Lennon, 1998).

Additional Traits of Highly Creative People

According to Dacey and Lennon, of all traits shared by creative people, “tolerance of ambiguity” is a “consistent hallmark,” for it takes “a greater degree of strangeness or ambiguity to cause fear or terror” in such people than in others (1998, p.99). In fact, creative people tend to “find strangeness interesting or exciting rather than frightening,” which fosters within them “the ability to react creatively” (Dacey & Lennon, 1998, p. 99).

Another common trait is “freedom from sex-role stereotyping.” A study by Roe, as cited by Dacey and Lennon, concluded that “. . . high creativity requires that individuals have some of the qualities usually ascribed to the opposite sex.” Creative males, for example, say Dacey and Lennon, might possess “sensitivity to the feelings of others,” normally viewed as a feminine trait, while females might possess assertiveness, normally viewed as a masculine trait (1998, p. 109).

A third commonality is “flexibility.” Citing Smith and Amner (1997), Dacey and Lennon say, “. . . the creative person is flexible in being open to the world, open to change, and prepared to bring about such change” (p. 104).

Lastly, individuals who are extremely imaginative tend to have superior memories, yet they not only possess “the ability to remember large quantities of information but also the uncanny capacity to recognize what is worth remembering and what to avoid storing in the first place” (Dacey & Lennon, 1998, p. 194).

In closing, creativity researcher Frank Barron says, “The creative person is more primitive and more cultured, more destructive and more constructive, crazier and saner than the average person” (Harman & Rheingold, 1994, p. 23). Yet, perhaps the best way to describe highly creative individuals is to compare them to the late Steve Jobs, because they, too, perhaps invariably long “to put a ding in the universe” (Heller, 2011), and although most never achieve that goal on the same grand scale as the founder of one of the largest technology companies on Earth, they yet manage to alter the universe in their own unique way.

Sources:

Carson, S. (2011) The Unleashed Mind: Why Creative People Are Eccentric. April 14, 2011. Retrieved from scientificamerican.com

Dacey, J. & Lennon, K. (1998) Understanding Creativity: The Interplay of Biological, Psychological, and Social Factors. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, a Wiley Company

Harman, W. & Rheingold, H. (1994) Higher Creativity: Liberating the Unconscious for Breakthrough Insights. New York: St. Martin’s Press

Heller, S. (2011) The Job Jobs Did. New York Times. August 25. Retrieved from nytimes.com

Seldes, G, ed. (1995) The Great Thoughts. New York: Ballantine Books

serenity (97%)

luck. (this is trying to paint ann orchid but i dont know why it came out like this…lol) definitely nit done yet. i was trying too hard to unblock my creative juices..

this is for a very special little girl who has gone to heaven to be an angel… though we never met you, i know you will always be around to look after everyone… especially the little kids in the family.

Sometimes we need to have just enough

To be able to appreciate something more

Sometimes, all we can do is just laugh

When our heart is crying

Like it never had before.

Π

Sometimes, it takes to have just a few

To appreciate something new

Sometimes, we have to be someone else

To finally know our own true self.

Π

Sometimes, all we can do is just keep quiet

From the screams inside our soul

Sometimes, we have to really forget

To remember what once made us whole.

Π

Sometimes we have to be blind

To search what we need to find

Sometimes we have to close our eyes

To see the truth beneath the lies.

Π

Sometimes we have to let things end

To be able to start anew

We have to lose someone we can depend

To live the life that feels so true.

Π

Sometimes we have to let love fly

To walk away from the chains

Sometimes we let our chances pass us by

And wait forever for it to come again.

Π

Sometimes we have to lose a heart

To give all the love we have held back

Sometimes we have to stay apart

To be together and stay on the right track.

Π

Sometimes we meet a stranger and know

That the love is there to just grow

But it is to be unspoken and kept in silence

What the eyes screams can be our only defense.

Π

Sometimes we love the minute we just meet

Connection so strong we both wish to forget

Only to be reminded with signs

Mind, Body, heart and soul aligns.

Π

Sometimes we have to fall in love in an instant

Only to wait till eternity to be together

Sometimes we have be distant

To repel the urge that draw us closer.

Π

Sometimes we have to love and let be

For life goes on and it always should

We have to choose when to be free

From the chains that prevent us to be good.

Π

We spend our whole life searching

For our one true love

And we also have to accept our fate

That to wait forever is just never too late

Sometimes we have to think outside the box

To fully embrace that

LIFE IS A PARADOX.

∏ ∏ ∏

Thu 9/8/2011 11:12 PM

Once before when I was young

I heard something whisper inside

A little sound so silent

Yet it sounded like a scream

From a memory

that belonged to a dream.

Once before

I thought I had lived

I heard a silent scream inside

That I wasn’t really alive

And I might as well be dead.

Said a little voice inside my head.

Once before,

I didn’t know what it meant

Not once long ago I listened

I just ignored the words I so resent.

I refused to listen to that little voice

I went against the silent little noise.

Once before I knew I had to go

Get away from the path that my mind told me so

But I was so stubborn that I ignored

The little call that started long before

A whisper that there was one other door.

Once before I knew I took the wrong road

So I reaped what I have sowed

Had I listened to that little voice

I would’ve known

That I should’ve grown.

Once before,

A really long time ago

I have loved someone so

But I was left with a broken heart

So I decided to let go…

and tried to make a new start.

Once before I knew I had to listen

To the whispers of my heart then

But I was troubled and instead

I ignored the little voice that said

I should follow my heart and not my head.

Once before I tried to finally move on

But all the reasons were wrong

And it took me quite so long

To finally see what was in store

Behind the litte voice that opened another door.

Once before I thought I had it all

So I became deaf from the call

That life is more than what I could see

That so much more was in store for me

If only I would let myself be free.

But I was scared to leave my comfort zone

And live the life unknown

Too scared to be alone

Till I was pushed to survive

The world that I thought was alive.

Once before, not long ago

It wasn’t as hard as I thought to let go

To travel the road less travelled

And then there was silence

I know I had made the right choice

Because I never heard again from my little voice.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012 4:40 AM