sometimes it’s sad when we are forced to cut old ties. we hang on to memories, dreams and aspirations we created in the past… but as one start to journey ahead than the others, and they misunderstand new views, philosophies and beliefs, judgement arises and those people who we thought to be true  start to show their true colors and voice out their thoughts on how we are supposed to live our own lives from their viewpoint. i think one basically have to respect each other. friends cross the line and when we voice out OUR own thoughts, they resent it. its a sad day when we realize that at the end of the day, we can choose who to keep in our lives and who to remove. burning bridges is but anything but an easy one to do… but maybe, those bridges haven’t stood on solid foundation for quite sometime. and as we journey to a new and better life that awaits us to be better and stronger and wiser than who we once were, we realize that the bridge has been long tattered before it got burned… maybe one day, we may need to cross that bridge, …when they are ready to cross the new bridge we have made, one that is based on truth, honesty, respect and most importantly, unconditional love… when we start over, when we try something new… it is hard for friends to understand how we have come to be… they say it is not us. it is not who we are. but as we shed more and more skin, we show them who we really are. the one who feels right for us… it is uncomfortable to them because they have always assumed that inspite of everything, we would still remain the same.

a change in our situation arises us to change too. we hit rock bottom, and when we emerge and rise above all the chaos in our lives with very little care of what people may think, in disbelief, they make assumptions on how we view the things that doesn’t meet their standards. arguments arise and when they begin to understand a little of what we are TRULY made of, they tell you….”YOU ARE NOT THIS PERSON…” but when we know who we really are, you begin to wonder… How are they supposed to know me when they know so little of themselves? We justify because we want to keep them in our lives and when we try harder… “YOU ARE WEIRD” is all that you get. isn’t it funny when you just tell them, “i know… if you don’t like me because i’m weird, you can stop being my friend… ” …we will only know how much we can love when we allow others to be weird… for all i care… i love the weirdness in everyone.

maybe for now, i think it is essential that i burn the old, worn, tattered bridge… i am building a new one. and maybe one day, when old friends have come to accept me for who i really am, free of judgement and is able to be brutally honest with me… and simply for the reason that the real me emerging from the box [or shell...] is not the same from the ones they have gotten used to… i will be at the other end.

the old me, is from my old life. the life where everything is laid out the minute i wake up and the minute i go to a sleepless night. the old life where everything is in place, on the right track [for them] ….where no worries to face and without the courage to face the hard ugly truth about the life that we chose… the old me, whom they used to have lunch with and use other people for dessert or entertainment. the old me who would snoop on other people’s lives in facebook and endlessly find something to do… to stall the facing of my own issues… (the issue of having everything but have none ….) because it is always easier to talk about other people, tell them how to run their lives than to face our own and control our own lives. {thinking….simply weird because i began to speak my own truth….because i can dismiss them when it doesn’t feel right anymore…}

people come into our lives for a reason. when it is time to part with them, just hold them close in our hearts… when we burn bridges, it doesn’t mean we can’t make a newer one.. it simply just means that we will wait for them to out grow the familiar. to be cutting ties with them…. doesn’t mean something is wrong with them… it just simply means that we only wish to be with the people who uplifts our soul, give us positive vibes, and NOT LIMIT ourselves because they refuse to EXPLORE. there is a big world out there… bigger than the places in the map… and that is our hearts…

my life may seem chaotic on the outside… but rest assured… ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. and I AM living the the magic of abundance. because I have cultivated who I AM intended to be… All needs being met. I may not have that much money to shop than what I was used to but when all I can do is wonder: HOW DID IT COME TO THE POINT WHERE I DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE DESIRE TO SHOP? I would rather sit in my favorite corner the whole day, draw and write and lay out my book. When told that all they want to do is help, i simply tell them… “i have money issues. that is all… when i had a lot, i didn’t know what to do with it, now that i have enough, i don’t know how to manage and stick to my budget… but other than that, it seems like i always have a little more than enough till the next alimony… and smile…” the only problem a person can have that is easiest to help is financial… other than financial…. it is simply called ISSUES. because it keeps coming back, and WE GOTTA FACE IT.

i cut ties, burned already a broken down bridge… and am settled down… WITH MYSELF.

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just musing out. after making a very irrational and illogical decisions on cleaning up my facebook. the Lord knows what I yearn. He simply delievers it so fast i can barely grasp everything that i ever thirst for in my life. HE SIMPLY ROCKS.

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we promised to be friends forever. i am sure about that promise. but in order for that promises to be real, we have to do this…

PS.

i just woke up from my nap and impulsively cut ties.

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