“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
You do know you talk to yourself in your mind all the time, right?
Pretty much every one of us has a non-stop stream of thoughts – a mental monologue – that has a powerful impact on how we feel, how we behave, and how we live our lives. Too often, this mental monologue consists of unhelpful thoughts that hinder our happiness and effectiveness.
Which is why it’s time to stop thinking about…
1. Who everyone else wants you to be.
You were born to be you, not who they tell you to be. You are not here to be perfect; you are here to be true. Be gentle and kind to your heart and soul. Accept who you are, where you are, and where you came from.
Don’t make a decision based solely on popularity, or based on what others think is right for you. Just because others are doing something doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you.
Listen to your gut. Now is the moment to follow your intuition and pursue what matters most to you. Reach deep within yourself and awaken to the purpose that moves you and makes you feel alive. The world is filled with opportunities to do an infinite number of things, so why not align your efforts with the activities that speak to your soul.
2. What you don’t have.
Instead of thanking the heavens for two strong legs and a body that’s capable of running and jumping and dancing, lots of people complain about their weight and appearance.
Instead of appreciating that they live in a country that protects their basic human rights and civil liberties, lots of people complain about laws, taxes, and politicians.
Instead of being grateful for the roof they have over their heads, lots of people wish they had a larger house and a fancier car.
Don’t be one of these people.
To witness miracles unfold in your daily life, count your blessings and be thankful for what you DO have. Lots of people aren’t so lucky. Read The Happiness Project.
3. What you fear.
As Franklin D. Roosevelt so profoundly said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
That’s the honest truth. The real thing that keeps you down is fear. The reason your fears have so much power over you is simply because you give them this power by thinking about them – the worst-case scenario, what you don’t want to happen, etc.
It’s time to take a stand. It’s time to clear your fears from your thoughts. It’s time to acknowledge that your fear of grief is far worse than the grief you fear.
4. Old mistakes.
Why regret? This moment doesn’t have any mistakes in it yet. It’s brand new.
You have a choice to make right here, right now. You can hold onto old mistakes or you can make progress going forward with the new beginning you’ve just been given.
It’s time to be bold. It’s time to stop reading the previous chapter of your life and start writing the one you’re currently living. Learn from your old mistakes and march confidently on. Sure you’ll make new mistakes along the way, but that’s the whole point – you want to learn from new mistakes, not rot alongside old ones.
Living means taking chances that are worth taking and making mistakes that are worth making. Right now is simply a new chance to get it right, but you have to let go and take this chance.
5. Old wounds.
You will grow much stronger and find peace once you stop picking at your old wounds. Consciously replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is self-abuse. Your past has given you the strength and awareness you have today. Don’t let it haunt you. Celebrate it.
Your wounds are your wisdom. Let them heal. Let them scar.
In order for this to occur, you must know why you felt the way you did, what you learned from it, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward.
You may carry a small scar with you for the rest of your life. Realize that this is perfectly OK. A scar is the effect of healing – it’s what makes you whole again. Read 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.
6. Impressing the wrong people.
You could spend your entire life trying to impress everyone around you. Of course, it wouldn’t get you very far.
Purposely impressing people is an act that brings nothing but a fleeting ego boost. Be real instead. Connect with fewer people on a level that is deeper and more profound.
If you want to impress someone, impress yourself by making progress on something you’re sincerely proud of. It’s truly amazing what you can accomplish when you aren’t worried about what everyone around you thinks.
7. Important dreams you aren’t actively pursuing.
The point here is simple: STOP thinking and START doing.
The road of life is jam packed with dreams that aren’t going anywhere. Why? Because the people driving these dreams haven’t started their engines. So many people endlessly put off until tomorrow what they could do today. There are literally millions of promising, intelligent people in this world who have no plan at all, who wait for others to drive and steer their lives and their dreams for them.
Having a dream without an action plan is exactly like a beautiful sports car without an engine. You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can’t. Turn your dream into an actionable plan and then start executing your plan. Make no promise for tomorrow when you have the opportunity to make progress today.
8. The impossible looking aerial view of a big project.
An aerial view of a big project always looks daunting. But once you break it down into small parts, suddenly it’s no longer a big, impossible project. It’s simply a bunch of little, achievable ones.
The key is to subdivide a big project into smaller tasks and break each task down further into logical steps for each task. Thinking about the big picture is important on occasion to keep track of your progress, but on a daily basis you should be focused only on the step you’re taking at the time.
The toughest part is laying out what you actually have to do to get each task done, but it’s worth the time and effort. By thinking about it, and breaking it down, you’ve already accomplished the hardest part – you’ve built yourself a step-by-step instruction manual for getting the project completed. Read Getting Things Done.
9. Situations you have zero control over.
Some parts of your life are simply meant to be lived, not controlled. No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine. Let the things you can’t control, happen.
Spend your thoughts and efforts on controlling what you do have power over, rather than wasting your peace of mind on the uncontrollable.
10. Another time and place.
Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be. But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.
The present moment is always filled with wonder. Right now is a phenomenon. Right now extraordinary things are happening. If you are attentive, you will see them.
POST WRITTEN BY: MARC
9 Lessons I’m Glad Life Taught Me
This afternoon my neighbor’s 16-year-old son interviewed me for a school project entitled “Lessons Life Teaches.” He came over to our condo with a white poster board that had nine words written on it. After a few miscellaneous introductory questions, he asked me to think about the words on the poster board for a few minutes and then, in the simplest way possible, explain what life had taught me about each one. Here are the nine words and what I told him:
Time passes quickly, and if you’re lucky enough, you’ll live long enough to marvel at the memories.
Picture yourself in twenty years walking past a park where you used to play with your friends when you were in kindergarten. While you’re passing by you notice that the park in now jam-packed with a new set of little faces. As you watch these kids swinging from the swing set and climbing trees together, you reminisce about simpler times and think about how these kids are going to grow up someday and do many of the same things that you’ve done. They will fall in love, and make mistakes, and fight adversities, and change their minds a dozen times about what they want to do with their lives.
But not yet, not now. At this moment swinging and climbing are sufficient feats for them. And although it would be nice if swinging and climbing were endlessly sufficient, you know they aren’t. You know life is infinitely more elaborate and beautiful – even in ways you have yet to experience – and that with each passing moment we all become a greater part of this elaborate beauty in every imaginable way. Read 1,000 Little Things.
When someone loves you, you know it. When they look your way, the world looks better. When they say your name, the world sounds better. When they kiss your skin, the world feels better. You know your soul is safe in their care.
But even more so than any physical interaction, there’s a silent connection between you that you can feel in your veins. You can sit in front of them for hours, without saying a word or moving a muscle, and yet still feel them with your heart. It’s almost like they’ve always been a part of you – like a long lost fragment of your essence has found its way home.
The single most important thing in life is what it all means to you. Life doesn’t come prepackaged with this meaning either; you create it. Doing so is rarely easy, but it’s always within your power and well worth the effort. You’ll be far happier for troubling yourself, rather than letting everyone else design your life for you.
Ultimately, the secret is to follow your intuition and make the most of the resources you have access to. Whatever comes your way, seemingly good and bad fortunes alike, you can always give these events meaning by transforming them into positive lessons and reflections, and then using them as stepping stones.
It’s impossible to know exactly how another person is feeling or what kind of emotional battles they’re fighting. Sometimes the widest smiles hide the thinnest strands of self-confidence and hope. Sometimes the ‘rich’ have everything but happiness. Realize this as you interact with others, long before you pass judgment. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.
It’s a sage fact of life, really, that every one of us encompasses a profound and unique set of secrets and mysteries that are absolutely undetectable to everyone else. Read Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
Sometimes you will have thoughts about yourself that even you can’t fully comprehend. Thoughts that aren’t true – that aren’t really how you feel – that don’t represent who you are today. But they’re running through your mind anyway and confusing your focus. Where do these thoughts come from? Perhaps they’re fragments of who you used to be or of who you thought you once were – an old ghost that still haunts your subconscious mind from time to time.
The good news is you’re not alone. If you could read the minds of other people, including those whom you love and admire, you’d overhear thoughts and nostalgic whispers that are constructive and true as well as some that are outdated and confused. The key is to realize that the latter thoughts are normal to have. We all deal with them. Maybe they’re a part of who we were. Maybe they’re part of an old mindset that we need to let go of. Regardless, they’re not part of who we ARE today – which is why we will eventually work through them, rise above them, and be perfectly OK in the long run.
Making money is pretty easy. Attaining true wealth is not. Most people have jobs and bring in an income. What’s difficult is to earn it by doing something that makes a positive difference.
Being a genuinely good person, helping others, and leaving the world better than you found it is what a truly rich life is. Its warm memories endure even when money and prominence fade, and it’s filled with the only kind of wealth you can take out of this world with you.
Knowing deep down that you counted – that someone else’s life would not have been as rich without you in it – that’s priceless. That’s something worth working for.
Lost opportunities, chances you didn’t take, feelings you can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. It’s frustrating when you realize you’ve missed a good opportunity. Although you can’t go back and change the past, there’s still something positive you can do. You can choose to learn from your mistake and transform your regret for this missed opportunity into enthusiasm and commitment for seizing the next good opportunity that comes your way.
You can decide to look ahead, acknowledging the importance of what you missed, but also realizing that it’s not the end of the world. There are many roads leading to everyplace worth going. Look at every exit from one opportunity as a possible entrance to another. You just have to keep your eyes wide open, looking forward in the direction of the next chance to get it right.
Holding a resentful grudge is like drinking toxic venom and waiting for the other person to grow ill. It’s an exercise in futility. And just as toxic venom is to the human body, so is resentment to the human spirit – even one tiny bit is bad for you.
Don’t magnify life’s difficulties by filling your mind with resentment. Instead, ease your burdens by choosing to let them go. If you feel resentful feelings starting to take hold, stop and consider the fact that there’s nothing to be gained by bringing yourself down over what has already happened.
Let today be the day you stop letting the ghosts of yesterday haunt you. Let today be the day you stop poisoning yourself with needless hatred. Forget about getting even with someone who hurt you, and instead get even with those who have helped you. Read The Soulmate Experience.
You have an immeasurable power within yourself to make positive changes in your life. When something is troubling you, don’t ignore it; make a commitment to change it. Don’t sit around in awe of how unhappy you are and at how unfairly life is treating you. Instead, be amazed at how swiftly and effectively you can do something about it. A positive reaction is yours to make.
Your past is unchangeable. The future depends on your decisions and actions in this moment. Right now you have power. When the world feels like it’s crumbling down around you, that’s a valuable signal. It’s your heart’s way of telling you to get going and make an overdue change. You have plenty of suitable choices if you’ll simply make an effort to discover them. Pick the best one, put it into action, and take control of your life.
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8 Places Happy People Find Peace
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”
Somewhere between the love in your heart and thoughts in your mind is a happy, peaceful place. You will find it promptly when you look in the following places:
1. The Foundation of Acceptance
Life is a series of continuous natural events and changes. Don’t resist them; doing so only creates unnecessary stress. Let the reality of these events and changes take place. Let them flow. Or as Henry Wadsworth once said, “For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”
Acceptance is letting go and allowing things to be the way they truly are. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about improving the realities of life; it’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself. This simple understanding is the foundation of acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be peace and growth.
2. A Sincere Inner Space
You have your own way. For you, this way of living is the absolute right way. Honor it.
One of the most influential sources of peace is simply being comfortable with who you really are. Not trading your reality for a role, or your truth for an act. Not giving up your freedom of thought. Not putting on a mask.
There cannot be peace in your external life until you are at peace within yourself, being yourself. It won’t always be easy, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning your inner spirit. Read The Untethered Soul.
3. The Mindset of Forgiveness
When someone has hurt you, it’s hard to be peaceful. But you do it anyway because you know peace is the only battle worth waging. Peace is beautiful; it is the manifestation of your love, and the best resolution for a brighter future.
Being peaceful is hard sometimes; much harder than being angry and vengeful. It requires you to stay calm and let go of the pain. It requires you to forgive and move on. Of course, you don’t do these things just for the person who has hurt you, but for your own wellbeing.
4. The Land of Appreciation
If you believe you would finally be happy if you had twice the amount of the things you already have – time, money, friends, cars, snazzy dress shoes, etc. – you would be sadly mistaken. Because if you aren’t happy with what you have, you won’t be any happier when what you have is doubled.
As Socrates once said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.” Do not waste all your happiness by overlooking everything you have for everything you wish you had. If you do, you will never have enough. Instead, appreciate the goodness that is already yours, and you will instantly find a lot more to smile about. Read The Happiness Project:.
5. Moments of Purposeful Solitude
You need to pause at least once a day and spend a few moments breathing silently. Use these moments to think and consciously separate the past from the present and future. Responsibilities, obligations, unfinished business, family and friends can all survive without you while you take these moments for yourself.
You deserve this time away. You deserve to think peacefully, free from external pressure. No problems to solve, hands to shake, or people to please. Sometimes you need to make time for yourself, away from the busy world you live in that doesn’t make time for you.
6. A Mutually Loving Relationship
When you love someone you understand them. You don’t necessarily understand exactly what they’re thinking, but you understand why. And they understand the same about you. This shared understanding is precious because where human beings are understood they are at ease.
Understanding nourishes emotional comfort and belonging. When those you love truly feel understood, they feel free to release themselves into the trust and shelter of your inner spirit and soul, which is where the real connection is made and true peace is found for the both of you.
7. A Passionate Endeavor
Passion is powerful. It rests deep within you and passively drives your feelings, choices, and courses of actions. It can’t be ignored, and it shouldn’t be ignored.
Your passion will become the sole source of your greatest achievements and your finest moments. The fevering excitement of love. The joy of work that moves you. The clarity of your purpose. The ecstasy of letting go and being one with the present moment. This is what passion does to you. Without it there is no peace of mind, just a hollow existence of unfulfilled dreams – a lifetime left unlived. Read 1,000 Little Things.
8. The Muscle of Positive Action
In life, you get what you put in. Every moment of your life is dynamic, responding exclusively to your inputs. When you put a positive, productive effort into it you will receive a useful outcome from it. This is the greatest power you possess – the power you have over your own choices and actions. Instead of attempting to gain power over others and external situations, exercise the unlimited power you already have over yourself.
Forget about the past, the future, and where others are in their journey. Put your mind at ease. Put the worrying and complaining to rest. Focus on your living, breathing, present self. What can you do right now to make a difference? Get positive, get productive, and get busy putting the possibilities of this moment to the test.
Photo by: Hartwig HKD
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A Love That Is Free Will Forever Be
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January 10, 2013
What We Are Made Of
by Madisyn Taylor
Make all decisions from pure love and the world will change.
Love is often presented as the opposite of fear, but true love is not opposite anything. True love is far more powerful than any negative emotions, as it is the environment in which all things arise. Negative emotions are like sharks swimming in the ocean of love. All things beautiful and fearful, ugly and kind, powerful and small, come into existence, do their thing, and disappear within the context of this great ocean. At the same time, they are made of the very love in which they swim and can never be separated. We are made of this love and live our whole lives at one with it, whether we know it or not.
It is only the illusion that we are separate from this great love that causes us to believe that choosing anything other than love makes sense or is even possible. In the relative, dualistic world of positive and negative, darkness and light, male and female, we make choices and we learn from them. This is exactly what we are meant to be doing here on earth. Underlying these relative choices, though, is the choice to be conscious of what we are, which is love, or to be unconscious of it. When we choose to be conscious of it, we choose love. We will still exist in the relative world of opposites and choices and cause and effect, and we will need to make our way here, but doing so with an awareness that we are all made of this love will enable us to be more playful, more joyful, more loving and wise, as we make our way. Ultimately, the choices we make will shed light on the love that makes us all one, enabling those who have forgotten to return to the source.
This world makes it easy to forget this great love, which is part of why we are here. We are here to remember and, when we forget to remember again, to choose love.
by: Deborah Fairfull
When you are surrounded by financial doom and gloom, natural disasters and riots — it is easy to feel negative and uncertain about the future. However this is exactly the time you need to dig down deep inside yourself and tap into your inner strength. This wise, all knowing part of yourself has the ability to transform your life into one that is fulfilling, peaceful and harmonious.
During my life I have experienced many challenging times. The one thing I have discovered without exception, is that when I have been able to accept my current situation it has allowed me to relax, tap into my internal wisdom and my life has begun to flow once more.
Some of my personal challenges have included:
- Starting up two different businesses, and being faced with challenging cashflow situations that have threatened my survival. By tapping into my inner strength and resourcefulness, I was able to overcome my cashflow problems and create viable businesses that I was able to later sell.
- Being forced to sell the family home due to economic pressure. This led me on a path of discovery in relation to my internal world. This gave me the courage to work with my true passions paving the way to the joy of expressing my true gifts and talents. This is a different kind of joy, with more depth than the joy I’d experienced before—even though I was in a better financial situation. These discoveries allowed me to rebuild my life in a meaningful and stable way as my life is a reflection of my heart, rather than reacting to external circumstances.
- Separating from my husband of 15 years whom I had shared three wonderful children with. We reunited four years later, just in time for our 20th wedding anniversary. This journey taught me a lot about learning to see beyond each other’s defenses and instead, appreciate the light and beauty within each other.
I used my tumultuous, unstable times as alchemy for inner peace so I could learn to experience inner stability despite what was going on around me. At the time I couldn’t understand why all these challenging things were happening to me, but I now appreciate them for the gift that they were.
How Do You Find Peace In Unstable Times?
1) Make peace with your past. Worrying over and reliving the past can take you away from enjoying the present, feeling stuck and prevent you flowing with life.
2) Make your mind your friend. Your mind takes you away from your peace by creating worry and stress. Becoming aware of your thoughts, belief and attitudes helps you to transcend a fearful mind and instead create a life that is loving and stable.
3) Your reactions are like gold. A reaction occurs when someone behaves aggressively (fight) or withdraw (flight) in a pressurized situation rather than responding from their empowered self.
However, if you are able to sit with the uncomfortable feeling that the reaction induces, rather than blaming the other person, you will heal that automatic survival response as you tap into a power greater than the reaction. You need to feel it to heal it. Next time you are in a similar situation, chances are you will not let the external circumstance take you away from your peace.
However it is common that we override our intuition and do what we “should” do, driven often by a fearful mind. If we make decisions based on anxiety and stress often they are not the very best decisions we can make for ourselves. When you calm your mind you are better equipped to listen to your intuition and create a life that is more flowing and peaceful.
5) Live your life on purpose. It is very hard to be truly happy if you are not expressing your natural talents or taking steps towards this. Sometimes some of life’s greatest challenges such as being retrenched can be life’s greatest gift as it opens up new doors, allowing you to step into what it is you truly love to do. If you look forward to going to work you know you are on the right path.
When you face or have faced challenging times sometimes it is easy to fall into the illusion that something is wrong with you. That you are wrong, damaged or not good enough in some way. This is the ego trying to strengthen its grip.
However, if you can remind yourself that despite any hurts you have been through you are always a divine loving individual you will be able to find that inner peace at the worst of times. When we learn to love, no matter how badly people may have treated us, we step into our true power. This gives us true strength and stability, and we remain stable and balanced despite what is going on around us.
If you’ve gone through particularly challenging experiences in your life, tell us how you overcame these and found the strength and peace within to move forward.
- Reacting To Emotions Is A Choice You Make (spiritualconnectedness.wordpress.com)
- Finding Yourself Through Intuition by Sandra Seibert (reneevosdewael.com)
This gallery contains 7 photos.
sweet sunday. last week. june 10. 2012
each one of us, our lives are scripted from Him, i know in my heart that if we just pay attention to little details that we take for granted, there is something there that would make us see what we really are here for. if only we step outside the box, screw other people’s opinion of who we are— really are and not what they expect of us.. then surely, we would be able to know who we are… if we break free from our own chains. after all, at the end of the day… we are all that we have. Continue reading
but you just have a way of tormenting me…
and because of that,
I hope that I be blessed with the strength
I need to hold on for you.
Or to even fight my own demons for you.
My heart ache so much
from the love that is suppressed inside. Continue reading
funny how life seems to always know
where to make you wander and then go
if only we take the road that people travel less
at the end of the line…
it surely feels the best. Continue reading
I will never forget the day
When I see you waiting for me with a smile
On the day that I walk down the aisle. Continue reading
of searching for the
missing part Continue reading
Wind hit my windows and made a sound
Like my heart crashing down the ground
The rain has stopped and as I gaze
Weather perfect for a lazy Sunday. Continue reading
When we’re together,
I cannot explain
Sometimes I think we are insane Continue reading
But these wishful thinkings are so shallow
To yearn for your peace was something I could ask
For you to be really happy and live eternally
As much as my heart would want
You cannot forever stay with me. Continue reading
we not only numb (if we try to) our own pain….
i have lived 15 years numbed to pain.
until i realized i too have become numbed to love.
how sad it was that i wasn’t able to cry when he died but only when i meditate?
only felt the love i held back recently.
For once in my life, I feel truly aligned
Joy and Peace that cannot be defined
My heart, mind, body and soul
All aligned… Found and finally whole.
I am alone but happy
Its been a while since I was free
Its been 21 years,
There was always someone near.
a clean pure heart will help us see
that beauty is beyond skin deep
live the unknown. live fearlessly.
it doesn’t matter, i’ll live and i’ll wait
no day would ever be too late.
growing old with you will be so great
our dreams, our life, or love
bittersweet. Just Like Chocolates.