Tag Archives: relationship

10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late

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POST WRITTEN BY: MARC

10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late

 

10 Life lessons People Learn Too Late

Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?”  So take time to figure yourself out.  Take time to realize what you want and need.  Take time to take risks.  Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and forgive.  Life is shorter than it often seems.

Here are ten things you need to know, before it’s too late:

  1. This moment is your life. – Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death.  Your life is between now and your next breath.  The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get.  So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret.  And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.  Read The Power of Now.
  2. A lifetime isn’t very long. – This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it.  Fight for what’s right.  Fight for what you believe in.  Fight for what’s important to you.  Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you.  Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance.  So stop for a moment and think.  Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today.  There are only so many tomorrows.
  3. The sacrifices you make today will pay dividends in the future. – When it comes to working hard to achieve a dream – earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes timeand commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is:  “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the rest of my life like many people can’t?”
  4. When you procrastinate, you become a slave to yesterday. – But when you are proactive, it’s as if yesterday is a kind friend that helps take a load off your back.  So do something right now that your future self will thank you for.  Trust me, tomorrow you’ll be happy you started today. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  5. Failures are only lessons. – Good things come to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve tasted failure, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt.  So never regret anything that has happened in your life; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten.  Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace.
  6. You are your most important relationship. – Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else’s approval.  You must first have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others.  You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes, so that you’ll be able to look confidently into the eyes of the people around you and connect with them.
  7. A person’s actions speak the truth. – You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times; but in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by.  So pay attention to what people do.  Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.
  8. Small acts of kindness can make the world a better place. – Smile at people who look like they are having a rough day.  Be kind to them.  Kindness is the only investment that never fails.  And wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness.  Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you understand there are so many others who feel like they have nothing at all.  Read Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
  9. Behind every beautiful life, there has been some kind of pain. – You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn.  You’re human, not perfect.  You’ve been hurt, but you’re alive.  Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love.  Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty.  We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend.
  10. Time and experience heals pain. – Several years ago when I askedmy grandmother about overcoming pain, this is how she explained it to me:  Look at the circles below.  The black circles represent our relative life experiences.  Mine is larger because I am older and have experienced more in my lifetime.  The smaller red circles represent a negative event in our lives.  Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature.  Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles.  Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences.  I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it.  What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past and not nearly as significant as it seems.

Negative Life Experiences

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart.

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10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart

 

 

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart

The worst kind of heartache is the kind you inflict on yourself.

If you don’t want to break your own heart, then don’t…

  1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel. – If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.
  2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made. – If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have now, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us prosper, grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for.  Read Emotional Freedom.
  3. Take your loved ones for granted. – Someday, for one reason or another, there will be someone you miss dearly.  Missing this person will have nothing to do with how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, or the amount of time since you’ve talked.  It will be about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish they were right there with you.  So be sure to appreciate every moment you get to spend with the people who matter to you.
  4. Let your ego get the best of you. – Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because we value our relationship more than our pride.  When two people who care about each other fight, both are wrong.  They have put some kind of superficial outcome over love and compromise.  The one who apologizes and makes up first, is the one who is right.
  5. Get involved in every petty argument that comes your way. – Being strong doesn’t mean you have to stay and fight all the battles and petty arguments that come your way.  Being strong doesn’t mean you have to respond to rude remarks.  Don’t retort by throwing insults back at them.  Don’t bring yourself down to their level.  That’s what they want.  Keep your dignity.  True strength is being smart enough to walk away from all the nonsense with your head held high.  Read The Four Agreements.
  6. Join the negativity committee. – No matter how much negativity is thrown at you by others, there is absolutely no need for you to stay put and participate in the self-destruction they choose for their own lives.  You decide how your soul grows.  The extent of your happiness depends on the quality of your thoughts.  So be positive.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.
  7. Rush love. – A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.  So don’t rush love.  Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.
  8. Hold on to those who don’t want to stay. – It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place.  If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either.  The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
  9. Ignore every bit of constructive criticism you receive. – The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts.  So don’t assume that every critic in your life is a hater.  Not everyone is hating on you.  Some people truly care about you, and are simply telling you the truth that you have been subconsciously denying.  Read The Mastery of Love.
  10. Give up on yourself. – Maneuvering through difficult times is a lot like driving through dense fog.  You can’t always see where you’re going, you feel a little lost, you want to turn back, and every mile feels like forever.  Yet, scared or fatigued as you might be, there’s nothing you can do but breathe, focus on the road ahead, keep moving forward, and trust that a force with keener vision than yours is out there functioning as your guide.

 

mastering the art of failing.

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Mastering The Art Of Failing     December 8, 2012   Lucy: You learn more when you lose Charlie Brown: Well then I must be the smartest person in world!! If failure would guarantee us success wouldn’t we all be … Continue reading →

cutting ties, burning bridges…settling down.

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sometimes it’s sad when we are forced to cut old ties. we hang on to memories, dreams and aspirations we created in the past… but as one start to journey ahead than the others, and they misunderstand new views, philosophies and beliefs, judgement arises and those people who we thought to be true  start to show their true colors and voice out their thoughts on how we are supposed to live our own lives from their viewpoint. i think one basically have to respect each other. friends cross the line and when we voice out OUR own thoughts, they resent it. its a sad day when we realize that at the end of the day, we can choose who to keep in our lives and who to remove. burning bridges is but anything but an easy one to do… but maybe, those bridges haven’t stood on solid foundation for quite sometime. and as we journey to a new and better life that awaits us to be better and stronger and wiser than who we once were, we realize that the bridge has been long tattered before it got burned… maybe one day, we may need to cross that bridge, …when they are ready to cross the new bridge we have made, one that is based on truth, honesty, respect and most importantly, unconditional love… when we start over, when we try something new… it is hard for friends to understand how we have come to be… they say it is not us. it is not who we are. but as we shed more and more skin, we show them who we really are. the one who feels right for us… it is uncomfortable to them because they have always assumed that inspite of everything, we would still remain the same.

a change in our situation arises us to change too. we hit rock bottom, and when we emerge and rise above all the chaos in our lives with very little care of what people may think, in disbelief, they make assumptions on how we view the things that doesn’t meet their standards. arguments arise and when they begin to understand a little of what we are TRULY made of, they tell you….”YOU ARE NOT THIS PERSON…” but when we know who we really are, you begin to wonder… How are they supposed to know me when they know so little of themselves? We justify because we want to keep them in our lives and when we try harder… “YOU ARE WEIRD” is all that you get. isn’t it funny when you just tell them, “i know… if you don’t like me because i’m weird, you can stop being my friend… ” …we will only know how much we can love when we allow others to be weird… for all i care… i love the weirdness in everyone.

maybe for now, i think it is essential that i burn the old, worn, tattered bridge… i am building a new one. and maybe one day, when old friends have come to accept me for who i really am, free of judgement and is able to be brutally honest with me… and simply for the reason that the real me emerging from the box [or shell...] is not the same from the ones they have gotten used to… i will be at the other end.

the old me, is from my old life. the life where everything is laid out the minute i wake up and the minute i go to a sleepless night. the old life where everything is in place, on the right track [for them] ….where no worries to face and without the courage to face the hard ugly truth about the life that we chose… the old me, whom they used to have lunch with and use other people for dessert or entertainment. the old me who would snoop on other people’s lives in facebook and endlessly find something to do… to stall the facing of my own issues… (the issue of having everything but have none ….) because it is always easier to talk about other people, tell them how to run their lives than to face our own and control our own lives. {thinking….simply weird because i began to speak my own truth….because i can dismiss them when it doesn’t feel right anymore…}

people come into our lives for a reason. when it is time to part with them, just hold them close in our hearts… when we burn bridges, it doesn’t mean we can’t make a newer one.. it simply just means that we will wait for them to out grow the familiar. to be cutting ties with them…. doesn’t mean something is wrong with them… it just simply means that we only wish to be with the people who uplifts our soul, give us positive vibes, and NOT LIMIT ourselves because they refuse to EXPLORE. there is a big world out there… bigger than the places in the map… and that is our hearts…

my life may seem chaotic on the outside… but rest assured… ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. and I AM living the the magic of abundance. because I have cultivated who I AM intended to be… All needs being met. I may not have that much money to shop than what I was used to but when all I can do is wonder: HOW DID IT COME TO THE POINT WHERE I DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE DESIRE TO SHOP? I would rather sit in my favorite corner the whole day, draw and write and lay out my book. When told that all they want to do is help, i simply tell them… “i have money issues. that is all… when i had a lot, i didn’t know what to do with it, now that i have enough, i don’t know how to manage and stick to my budget… but other than that, it seems like i always have a little more than enough till the next alimony… and smile…” the only problem a person can have that is easiest to help is financial… other than financial…. it is simply called ISSUES. because it keeps coming back, and WE GOTTA FACE IT.

i cut ties, burned already a broken down bridge… and am settled down… WITH MYSELF.

=====

just musing out. after making a very irrational and illogical decisions on cleaning up my facebook. the Lord knows what I yearn. He simply delievers it so fast i can barely grasp everything that i ever thirst for in my life. HE SIMPLY ROCKS.

—-

we promised to be friends forever. i am sure about that promise. but in order for that promises to be real, we have to do this…

PS.

i just woke up from my nap and impulsively cut ties.

 

 

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poetry in motion.

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i pray to never run out of words…to be able to show the world how our love has transformed what once a cynic, now reformed. though there are probably not enough to describe all the love i have for you … Continue reading →

discernment.

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i am currently loving all the unexpected gifts i am blessed with. i know this has got to take me somewhere — big. but… lately, i keep discovering all these wonders inside that lay dormant for years and i feel like there is still so much in store for me. i also feel that the realisation of my dreams is really near. how to go about it, i don’t know… i just ride with the tide, i don’t drive. sometimes, it can be frustrating but nevertheless, surprisingly calm. even if the external aspect of my life isn’t as peaceful as it should be… [ i could totally say --- true test of peace...]

i am a multitasker. and if there is one thing i like… it is mixing and fixing everything altogether in one. so… i made a list of my “gifts” and the not so wanted character. i like the production part better… it is actually the managing slash routine that is dreadful to me.

for the book – i know that is where i am heading… only i am still not getting the right signal for that. in my heart, that is where i am truly headed. for my ego, i wish to make a big bang explosion when i am launching it… that is my soul. and that is me NAKED in front of everyone. until such time. the timing isn’t ripe yet. it is meant to help others with self improvement, empowerment,….. too much info. :–)

for the dried flowers: i have learned patience, — and the theme of my life: finding beauty in all that is not. so that is also part of me. i like the “vintage-y” feel around. i like all things classic, romantic, ….makes me remember all that i wish to be in..

posters: that is left brain and right brain with my self improvement student and frustrating friend i wish to rise above all the experiences she went through… which is the same as mine. but have not gotten around to it. oh but how she makes me “human” sometimes…. its just a matter of time, and we will combine our “charm” to make something really out of this world in our own little world ….
gosh sabrina— hurry up and ascend a D higher please! let’s rock their world!

printabilities: oh, my only window to creativity when i was with my husband… gift tags and calling cards.

photography: i bought a camera to source out my “window” when i was with my husband. -believe you me, i couldn’t write a decent poem until our beloved pet died. and since i didn’t know i could MAKE pictures then, i decided to take them. probably also because i would rather take pictures because i am supposed to be lighter by a 100lbs. and how i used to love my pictures taken when i was 100lbs lighter… [yeah...vanity is my favorite sin] – but to justify that -  i used to love myself from OUTSIDE IN.

doodles/drawing: this is actually the best thing to ever happen to me— for now. because never in my wildest dream i could draw! i am so ecstatic. i used to visualize my book when i was little that the pictures were hand-drawn. but instead opted for photographs since its too impossible for me to have to draw it. nevertheless, wow…. it is all coming together now. :-)

cooking: i do small orders from friends and yes, i too can cook. anything!
— except pastries…. too much rules for me. and i can’t break it. and it has to be timed at a certain degree… oh — i can’t do it. NOT YET i suppose.

——-

so basically, i need extra help in prayers for discerning what it really is. this is what is mind boggling. i know my purpose. i know the end of it all. it is just basically to be able to give hope to non believers of true love.. and each one of us… we start within ourselves. and when we have learn to love ourselves, we can sit quietly with ourselves… we love our own company…. and when we can finally sit quietly alone, then true love can peacefully be with us. [lets face it, if we can't be alone with ourselves, if we dislike our own company.... what makes us think others can too?]
it is just a matter of time. i am blessed with deep knowing and clear seeing (even if at times i challenge it, it smacks me right in front of my face… oh, that is probably why we both kept saying let us work on ourselves. ] ohhh!!! NOW…. [another aha moment!]

its a labyrinthine life i am living and i cannot wait to be in the center. :-) with HIM and him.

 

—-

Prayer:

Thank You Lord for making my life worth living. For helping me find meaning and making me see our purpose very clearly. i ask You not to shield me from any chances that may make me grow and be the best i can be but to give me strength and make me UNSHAKEABLE to rock their worlds for the better….

Continue to bless my kids with such understanding of the whole situation and let them open their hearts to know YOU more too.. and give their lives meaning and purpose too.

Lead me to the right people to know that i am headed in the right direction…. and I am grateful for all the random grace that You continually make me see. LEt me ROCK this life to Your liking. :-) coz YOU rock.

and let him lead with his heart through your wisdom. and make him FEARLESS too. :-) and believe in himself the way he does with me and the way i do with him. :-)

PS. i hope you don’t mind that i hardly hear mass.

 

 

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love musings.

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Amidst all the pain, I always know there is beauty behind it. All I know is that, little by little, things will finally fall into place. I believe that Love alone is enough to fight whatever battles we are faced with. When our hearts are closed, we almost forget everything else. We only think about our own desires, and maybe sometimes, we can’t help but feel a little sad, melancholy…. but that sadness is a welcome pain because then, I know that my heart is open. Continue reading →

if these walls could talk.

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love is what makes u smile copy

if these walls could talk are
wall candies and a
pocketful of sunshine on your walls…. :-)
digitally handcrafted with love. Continue reading →

morning mist.

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I love the morning smell
when the sun meets the earth
it makes my heart swell
and i forget whatever hurt.
The morning aroma lets me see
that new hope awaits so beautifully Continue reading →

miracle.

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touch my heart and only see
good things and be free
from all the thoughts
that the heart forgets Continue reading →

25 Beautifully Illustrated Thought-Provoking Questions

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A question that makes you think is worth asking… Continue reading →

how i got my love back.

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stay with me, though i may appear grown up
i am still your little girl… who loves to sit on your lap
sing me to sleep with your wonderful oldie lullaby
and wipe my tears when i would cry. Continue reading →

30 things everyone should know about love.

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1. Love is best measured by what it does and not only what is said.
2. Anyone is capable of anything, but it doesn’t need to be accepted or tolerated.
3. Pain is temporary, but it doesn’t need to consume one’s mind.
4. The quickest way to get over a lover is to find another.
5. Cheaters are inclined to repeat until they face romantic defeat. Continue reading →

another reason.

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◦are there any more beatings that you need to unleash?
◦to put to stop to the never ending questiion
◦maybe soon, i may have the answers
◦but for now… you are just another reason.
Continue reading →

make up for the soul.

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each one of us, our lives are scripted from Him, i know in my heart that if we just pay attention to little details that we take for granted, there is something there that would make us see what we really are here for. if only we step outside the box, screw other people’s opinion of who we are— really are and not what they expect of us.. then surely, we would be able to know who we are… if we break free from our own chains. after all, at the end of the day… we are all that we have. Continue reading →

love’s inventions.

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if mr. webster could come up
with words to describe my heart
i dont think there would be enough
i dont think he’d know where to start. Continue reading →

how i come to love the beast in me.

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REVISITED:

3.33 am

i am a lover of life. and i have come to love every bit of pain, because it is basically what fuels me to learn and to grow. and to appreciate all the good things that life has to offer…

i think its ironic how it is for me. either i love love or i tend to numb myself

“i would rather hurt than feel nothing at all” – Lady Antebellum[need you now.

“I stay because I am too weak to go. I crawl on because it is easier than to stop. I put my face to the window. There is nothing out there but the blackness and the sound of rain. Neither when I shut my eyes can I see anything. I am alone…There is nothing else in my world but my dead heart and brain within me and the rain without.”
Continue reading →

maybe.

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i guess there comes a day

in your life when you can say

that you’ve had more than enough

and that no matter how tough

you may be…

you have got to be free.
Continue reading →

[end] fate & destiny.

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and time only helped them by chance

to live happily ever after….

live their dreams….under the sunlight’s beams…

time and time again… they had yearn to be found

and share their love and romance….

at least just once.

they will embrace the memory

of a love that they left to fate and destiny.
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would it be love?

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our deepest of hearts… and let it last

for until you have finally learn to

align your mind with your heart and soul

and let God put you back to where you will fill the whole.
Continue reading →

we radiate.

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we radiate.

that was the first big risk i saw you take

even if you thought diferrently…

how my poor heart ached…

vanished so suddently.

when i saw you run across the street

across the roads we meet
Continue reading →

again.

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again.

i will love even when apart…

i would still love you over and over

i would still give you my heart… forever

i love you more than i did then

even if you break my heart all over again.
Continue reading →

i need love.

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roses and beach.

If given the chance to choose between
a broken person or a broken heart…
with every beat of the broken piece….
I would gladly choose to have my
heart broken again.
with the only person who is worthy

of me and worth crying for.

a person with the half of my soul…
Continue reading →

[not] meant to be.

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love math

[1997] but you’ve gone on with your life

i guess now i should see

…wishfully thinking i would be your wife

are we or are we not meant to be?

[2012] as your loving arms embrace me

that is what feels right

that is what is meant to be. Continue reading →